I loved this!!!! Steve and I had tears streaming down our faces we were laughing so hard! That beats any stand-up comedian that I know! Love K. (p.s. I'm taking it to work for the teachers tomorrow!!) ----- Original Message ----- From: "Marilyn" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> To: "Paul & Jean Jenkins" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Cathy Zavitz" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Bev and Dave" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>; "Clan-MacLean" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> Sent: Wednesday, January 29, 2003 11:11 PM Subject: Fw: From a Catholic Elementary School
> This is cute! > > > > > Kids were asked questions about the Old and New testaments. The answers > have > > not been retouched or corrected (i.e., incorrect spelling has been left > in). > > > > In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the > > world, so he took the Sabbath off. > > Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. > > Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark. Noah built an ark, which the animals > > come on to in pears. > > Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night. > > The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with > > the unsympathetic Genitals. > > Samson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a Jezebel like > > Delilah. > > Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread > which > > is bread without any ingredients. > > The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert. Afterwards, Moses went up > on > > Mount Cyanide to get the ten ammendments. > > The seventh commandment is the shallot not admit adultery. > > Moses died before he ever reached Canada. Then Joshua led the Hebrews in > the > > battle of Geritol. > > The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand > still > > and he obeyed him. > > David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the > > Finklesteins, a race of people who lived in Biblical times. > > Solomon, one of David's sons, had 300 wives and 700 porcupines. > > When Mary heard that she was the mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna > Carta. > > When the three wise guys from the east side arrived, they found Jesus in > the > > manager. > > Jesus was born because Mary had an immaculate contraption. > > Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before > they > > do one to you. He also explained, "a man dot not live by sweat alone". > > It was a miracle when Jesus rose from the dead and managed to get the > > tombstone off the entrance. > > The people who followed the lord were called the 12 decibels. > > The epistles were the wives of the apostles. > > One of the oppossums was St. Matthew who was also a taximan. > > St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is > > another name for marriage. > > Christians have only one spouse. This is called monotony. > > > > > > > >
