Ahmed, Ah Beng and Kumar
Ahmed died in a fire and his body was so badly burned
that the morgue needed someone to identify the body.
As he had no family, they called up his two best
friends, Ah Beng and Kumar.
Ah Beng went in first and the mortician pulled
back the sheet. Ah Beng said, "Wah-lau-eh, he's very
barbecued like cha siu. But if you would roll him over,
I will tell you if he's my friend Ahmed or not."
The mortician rolled the body over. Ah Beng looked
at his ass and said, "Heng-ah! No-lah, dat not Ahmed.
" The mortician was puzzled how he was so sure but
he didn't say anything.
He went and got Kumar to check the body. Kumar
looked closely and said, "Aiyoyo, it is true he's burnt
very bad, but I need you to roll him over and I can confirm
if he's my friend, Ahmed."
Again the mortician rolled the body over. Kumar looked
down at the ass and said, "Aiyoyo, oh no no, this
is definitely not Ahmed." The mortician, unable to suppress
his curiosity any longer, said, "Okay, you have to tell me now -
how can you and Ah Beng tell for sure this is not Ahmed?"
Kumar said, "Well, this Ahmed, he had two assholes."
"What?!!" the mortician said in disbelief, "He had two assholes?!!"
"Oh yeah, everyone in the neighbourhood knows this.
Every time the three of us go out, people always say,
"Here comes Ahmed with the two assholes'."
