>
> Things Dogs Must Try To Remember... (Humans 2!)
>
> * I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's
> on the toilet.
> * The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
> * I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying
> under the coffee table.
> * I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
> * I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering
> the house.
> * I will not eat the cats' food, before or after they eat it.
> * I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet
> in the house when I am about to throw up.
> * I will not throw up in the car.
> * I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
> * "Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
> * I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the
> backyard after processing.
> * The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
> * I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
> * I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my
> people will think I am hemorrhaging.
> * When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down
> when it's raining outside.
> * We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on
>TV.
> * The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
> * My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
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