I was cleaning out some old school files and found this. It is regional to
west texas, but I think it will apply to other parts of the world. (some of
them are dated, but you will get the idea)
Where is west texas
by rick Smith, circa 1978
some say it begins west of the winding pecos
other claim it includes fort worth
diehards tell me it's found only on the west side of the davis mountains
so - who is right?
You know you are in west texas when
no one but an idiot would try driving between towns with only a half-a-tank
of gas
nothing but static comes over the car radio, and there is nothing wrong with
the radio
buzzards begin circling if you stand in one place for more than 5 minutes
the only "rains" a rancher is aqcuainted with are the ones on a horse.
cafes have signs on the door warning: no hats, no boots, no service
Drinking water that is so choked with minerals that even visiting baptists
ask for beer
passing motorists would rather wave at and watch one another than look at the
scenery
it is actually safer to treat a rattlesnake bite yourself than drive to the
nearest doctor
cas purchased not more than 100 yards from an oil well costs more than it
does in the "city"
"gone with the wind" is showing at the local movie house, for the first time
the bread truck only stops in town twice a month
the highest building in town is the football stadium's pressbox
barbers don't even offer to include a shampoo in the price of a haircut
the only drivers not doing 70 are those driving 85
everyone but you has a CB
locking doors at night means latching the screen to keep the cat in
the local golf course has more sandtraps than grass
land is measured in sections, not acres
car headlights can be seen over 30 miles away through the clear night air
auto travellers quit dreaming of roadside restrooms, give up waiting on a
tree or bush, and start eyeing big rocks.
cattle have 6 acres apiece for grazing
rodeos are considered the climax of the cultural season
cars are stopped more by the border patrol check points than traffic lights
people don't even bother putting up TV aerials
when you ask the time, they say "Central standard or Mountain"?
eating out means a 20 mile drive, going to a movie means 60, and a good
Friday night football game could take you 200 miles, easy.
Kids spends as much time on the schoolbus as they do in classrooms.
On the other hand - you can be fairly certain you're not in west texas if:
people think Dr. Pepper is a quack physician
you mention lariat, and someone corrects you :"no, that should be Larry's
eaten."
pickups are impromptu dates for the evening
folks think armadillos are mystical, imaginary beasts dreamed up by an austin
nightclub
people complain that they drove through Llano county, stopped for 40 minutes
at a Deer X-ing sign, but never saw a deer.
you cannot find a parking space
there aren't any copies of the standard-times on the newstand.
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