Hi :) I have a few suggestions but how close is this to completion? Note that it is always easier to criticise than to create. I think the advert is good work despite these points ...
1. Are those well-known legs? If not then a sexy girl's legs/ankles are likely to be more attractive. Ignore this comment if this advert is part of a set that aims at diversity and are likely to be displayed fairly near each other. 2. The word "hole" has quite a few strongly negative connotations in english/american and not many good ones. "Full of holes" = lots of problems. The phrase "instant fail" is beginning to take over from that phrase but it is still in common usage. If you don't like someone or think they have done something fairly bad you might call them an "ass-hole", "total [ass] hole" etc. To mitigate against that presumably this is due to be released at about the start of a famous golf tournament? If not then can we replace it and keep this one ready to roll out when their is one? I tried adding w to make it "whole" = complete or good (a suggestion of fresh baked bread) also "whole in one" is vaguely bhuddist/zen or something? See attached gif. 3. The paragraph at the bottom was almost right-justified but not quite and the 2nd line was strangely spaced away from the first line in a way that looked accidental. See attached gif. 4. The shading at bottom-right seems to end quite abruptly. Is it possible to smudge it down or give the reflection a similar (but much lighter) shadow that fades? I tried but i'm pretty hopeless at picture editing. I guess this has been tried and didn't work? 5. The wording "the spreadsheet you've always wanted" is a blatant lie. A false retrospective. Anyway we are the future rather than the past. How about something like "the spreadsheet you will find you've always needed", hmm, tricky. It is more words and might not fit so well. The 4th line being "advanced functions." was superb, the extra "of" spoils that a little, sorry. 6. I guess the "With" looks dumb in italics? 7. I really like the blocks of words. On the right we have "always, professional data, [comprehensive] range". On the left it's pretty good too with the "advanced functions". If this is going to be in magazines or on billboards then people might only see part of it at a time. The parts are excellent :) If it is ready to go then ignore my comments as what we have compares favourably with the type of thing we see out there from competitors. Give me any advert from anyone's running campaign and i could almost always pick more holes in it than i have with the Calc one. Good luck and regards from Tom :) ________________________________ From: Dave Johnson <[email protected]> To: [email protected]; [email protected] Cc: Florian Effenberger <[email protected]> Sent: Sat, 25 December, 2010 6:35:57 Subject: [libreoffice-marketing] LibO advert #2 with link http://www.davefilms.us/libreoffice/LibO_advert_12_24_2010.pdf -- Unsubscribe instructions: E-mail to [email protected] List archive: http://listarchives.libreoffice.org/www/marketing/ *** All posts to this list are publicly archived for eternity *** -- Unsubscribe instructions: E-mail to [email protected] List archive: http://listarchives.libreoffice.org/www/marketing/ *** All posts to this list are publicly archived for eternity ***
