On Dec 25, 2010, at 2:31 AM, Tom Davies wrote:
> Hi :)
>
> I have a few suggestions but how close is this to completion? Note that it
> is
> always easier to criticise than to create. I think the advert is good work
> despite these points ...
>
> 1. Are those well-known legs? If not then a sexy girl's legs/ankles are
> likely
> to be more attractive. Ignore this comment if this advert is part of a set
> that
> aims at diversity and are likely to be displayed fairly near each other.
This is stock photo.
>
> 2. The word "hole" has quite a few strongly negative connotations in
> english/american and not many good ones. "Full of holes" = lots of problems.
>
> The phrase "instant fail" is beginning to take over from that phrase but it
> is
> still in common usage. If you don't like someone or think they have done
> something fairly bad you might call them an "ass-hole", "total [ass] hole"
> etc.
> To mitigate against that presumably this is due to be released at about the
> start of a famous golf tournament? If not then can we replace it and keep
> this
> one ready to roll out when their is one? I tried adding w to make it "whole"
> =
> complete or good (a suggestion of fresh baked bread) also "whole in one" is
> vaguely bhuddist/zen or something? See attached gif.
Good point. I was going for the idea that you can spend less time at
work and more time at play.
>
> 3. The paragraph at the bottom was almost right-justified but not quite and
> the
> 2nd line was strangely spaced away from the first line in a way that looked
> accidental. See attached gif.
I can fix this.
>
> 4. The shading at bottom-right seems to end quite abruptly. Is it possible
> to
> smudge it down or give the reflection a similar (but much lighter) shadow
> that
> fades? I tried but i'm pretty hopeless at picture editing. I guess this has
> been tried and didn't work?
>
> 5. The wording "the spreadsheet you've always wanted" is a blatant lie. A
> false
> retrospective. Anyway we are the future rather than the past. How about
> something like "the spreadsheet you will find you've always needed", hmm,
> tricky. It is more words and might not fit so well. The 4th line being
> "advanced functions." was superb, the extra "of" spoils that a little, sorry.
>
>
>
> 6. I guess the "With" looks dumb in italics?
>
> 7. I really like the blocks of words. On the right we have "always,
> professional data, [comprehensive] range". On the left it's pretty good too
> with the "advanced functions". If this is going to be in magazines or on
> billboards then people might only see part of it at a time. The parts are
> excellent :)
>
> If it is ready to go then ignore my comments as what we have compares
> favourably
> with the type of thing we see out there from competitors. Give me any advert
> from anyone's running campaign and i could almost always pick more holes in
> it
> than i have with the Calc one.
> Good luck and regards from
> Tom :)
Thanks Tom. ;)
>
>
>
>
>
>
> ________________________________
> From: Dave Johnson <[email protected]>
> To: [email protected]; [email protected]
> Cc: Florian Effenberger <[email protected]>
> Sent: Sat, 25 December, 2010 6:35:57
> Subject: [libreoffice-marketing] LibO advert #2 with link
>
> http://www.davefilms.us/libreoffice/LibO_advert_12_24_2010.pdf
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