On Mon, 2011-05-16 at 15:34 -0400, Marc Paré wrote:
> Le 2011-05-16 08:12, drew a écrit :
> > On Mon, 2011-05-16 at 03:33 -0400, drew wrote:
> >> Howdy,
> >>
> >> Uploaded a submission of a tri-fold pamphlet for use inside the tall
> >> disc case. 
> >

Hi Marc, Tim, others

Just uploaded latest copy, with changes from your email

> >> http://wiki.documentfoundation.org/cgi_img_auth.php/8/86/Na-dvd-insert.pdf


> >>
> >
> > <snip>
> >

> Thanks for doing this Drew and Tim. Here are my suggestions (remember, 
> they are only my suggestions):
> 
> ================
> 
> p.1, panel 1
> 
> Info
> * brief information ...
> 
> *** (suggest a bullet at the start of the blurb) ***
> 
> Install
> * has the various ...
> 
> *** (suggest a bullet at the start of the blurb) ***

Done

> 
> ================
> 
> p. 1, panel 2
> 
> Extensions
> An extension ... These include add-ons such as formatting tools, 
> language tools, and over 180 localised dictionary extensions.
> 
> *** (I don't think you need the rest of the blurb on Mexican 
> dictionaries and one or more for each country listed. I find it strange 
> that there are 20 different Mexican dictionaries. We will have to get 
> some of our Mexican language partners to sort this out. We should also 
> avoid the use of the 1st person plural "We".)  ***
> 
> These extensions, as well as most files ending in the .oxt file 
> "extension" can be installed by using the default Extension Manager 
> [Tools>Extension Manager].
> 
> *** (I tried to condense this sentence, it sounded too choppy.) ***

Done - mostly, I used your advice to reword it, looking at it now I see
I left a word out, that is needed to make a proper sentence - will fix
that next update.

> 
> ================
> 
> p. 1, panel 2
> 
> Templates
> 
> There are two types of template files included on the DVD:
> 
> * Files ending with ".oxt" will add templates to the “File > New > 
> Template and Document“ list.
> 
> *The second type of files are in compressed/archived file groups and can 
> be unarchived using a standard archive manager program [7Zip is included 
> in the list on the “Extras” page]. These are sample files that are 
> opened like normal document files.
> 
> *** (reworked paragraphs, bullet form please) ***

Done


> 
> ================
> 
> p. 1, panel 2
> 
> Documentation
> 
> Documentation files included on this DVD are in either the ".odt" 
> OpenDocument file format [ODF], a long established International 
> Standard [ISO] set of file formats, or, ".pdf" Adobe Acrobat file 
> format. LibreOffice uses the international standard ODF as its default 
> office suite file formats.
> 
> *** (I tried to condense this to a stronger paragraph, we should also 
> not speak of MS in a negative way and MS claims they are following an 
> ISO approved xml standard anyway. let's not mention them at all in this 
> passage. No need to sell people on the .pdf format. If they don't know 
> about it, they can use our format, which is what we are trying to 
> promote.) ***

Done

> 
> ================
> 
> p. 1, panel 3
> 
> There are two types of artwork files on the included on the DVD:
> 
> * Files ending with ".oxt" will be added to the "Tools>Gallery" option.
> 
> * The second type of files are in compressed/archived file groups and 
> can be unarchived using a standard archive manager program [7Zip is 
> included in the list on the “Extras” page]. These are are individual or 
> groups of image files that can be used by LibreOffice or any other 
> packagethat can use image files.
> 
> *** (reworked paragraph to match the Templates paragraph, bullet form 
> please) ***

Done - needed to do a little rewording tom make it fit in the layout

> 
> ================
> 
> p. 2 panel 2
> 
> *** Our mission is, IMHO, a little slim. Whereas later we say "Tell the 
> world you share our visions, join our group and fan page at 
> http://facebook.com/documentfoundation. There is little vision that we 
> have given the user on the pamphlet. 


> This is something we really need to 
> get to work on as a marketing group. ***

Agreed - but space is tight - but I bet there are a few lines still that
could be squeezed onto the panel..I'm open for suggestions


And I added a little here and there - 

Thanks

Drew


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