Forwaded:
---------------------------->
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and you with bills.
MARRIAGE: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelors degree
and a
woman gains her master's.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are
early.
POLITICIAN: One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence
after.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN: An honest opinion openly expressed.
YAWN: Also, the only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you really
do.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to
decide
that nothing can be done together.
COMMITTEE: Also, a body that keeps
minutes and wastes hours.
CLASSIC: A book that people praise, but that no one reads.
WORRY: Interest paid on trouble before it falls due.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their mistakes.
TEARS: The hydraulic force by which masculine power is defeated by
feminine
power.
ATOM BOMB: An invention to end all inventions.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you
actually look forward to the trip.
OPTIMIST: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls
into a
river.
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in "ZERO"
instead of
the first letter in the word "OPPORTUNITY".
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got
caught.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things
straight.
RUMOR: News that travels at the speed of sound.
DICTIONARY: The only place where divorce comes before marriage.
COLLEGE: A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing
in
the middle.
CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people.
GOSSIP: A person who will never tell a lie if the truth will do more
damage.
HANDKERCHIEF: Cold Storage.
INFLATION: Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.
MYTH: A female moth.
MOSQUITO: An insect that makes you like flies better.
SECRET: Something you tell to one person at a time.
SKELETON: A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.
TOOTHACHE: The pain that drives you to extraction.
TOMORROW: One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.
---------------------------->
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