Wasn't someone whining a few days ago about no kulture in the South?  My son
went to Ole Miss, and on  one of our trips to Oxford, MS, we took a tour of
Faulkner's house.  Lotsa famous folks from Ole Miss...

Royce Engler (Native Houstonian)
1985 300TD Turbo 265K




-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED] Behalf Of andrew strasfogel
Sent: Friday, August 12, 2005 9:05 AM
To: Mercedes mailing list
Subject: Re: [MBZ] clogged radiator?


COMPLETELY OT
Speaking of presidents getting l**d (or not, depending on what l**d
means), one of the funniest parodies I've ever read is this year's
winning entry in the 2005 Hemisphere Magazine Faux Faulkner
competition.  It's so good I copied it below in its entirety:

2005 FAUX FAULKNER WINNER

The Administration and the Fury
If William Faulkner were writing on the Bush White House

By Sam Apple

Down the hall, under the chandelier, I could see them talking. They
were walking toward me and Dick's face was white, and he stopped and
gave a piece of paper to Rummy, and Rummy looked at the piece of paper
and shook his head. He gave the paper back to Dick and Dick shook his
head. They disappeared and then they were standing right next to me.

"Georgie's going to walk down to the Oval Office with me," Dick said.

"I just hope you got him all good and ready this time," Rummy said.

"Hush now," Dick said. "This ain't no laughing matter. He know lot
more than folks think." Dick patted me on the back good and hard.
"Come on now, Georgie," Dick said. "Never mind you, Rummy."

We walked down steps to the office. There were paintings of old people
on the walls and the room was round like a circle and Condi was
sitting on my desk. Her legs were crossed.

"Did you get him ready for the press conference?" Dick said.

"Don't you worry about him. He'll be ready," Condi said. Condi stood
up from the desk. Her legs were long and she smelled like the Xeroxed
copies of the information packets they give me each day.

"Hello Georgie," Condi said. "Did you come to see Condi?" Condi rubbed
my hair and it tickled.

"Don't go messing up his hair," Dick said. "He's got a press
conference in a few minutes."

Condi wiped some spit on her hand and patted down my hair. Her hand
was soft and she smelled like Xerox copies coming right out of the
machine. "He looks just fine," Condi said.

Fine day, isn't it, Georgie, Daddy said. Daddy was pitching
horseshoes. Horseshoes flew through the air and it was hot. Jeb looked
at me. Stand back or one of his horseshoes is going to hit you and
knock you down real good, Jeb said. Jeb threw the horseshoe and it
went right over the stick and Daddy clapped. Run and get me that
horseshoe, Georgie, Daddy said. I ran and picked up the horseshoe. The
metal was hot in my hands, and I held it for a little bit and then I
dropped it. I picked it up. It was hot in my hands and I started
running away from Daddy and Jeb. Come back with that horseshoe, Daddy
said. I was running as fast as I could. Jeb run after him and get me
my horseshoe before he throws another one in the river, Daddy
hollered. Jeb was chasing after me fast. Come back with that
horseshoe, Georgie, Jeb hollered. But I was fast and I kept running
until I got to the river. Dont you dare throw that horseshoe in the
river, Jeb said. I threw the horseshoe in the river. Jeb fell on the
ground. Jeb kicked and cried and then I cried.

"He needs his makeup," Dick said.

"I'll do it," Condi said. She put a little brush on my check and it
tickled and I laughed.

Rummy walked into the room. "Jesus, what s he laughing about," Rummy said.

"Don't you pay attention to him, Georgie," Dick said. "They're going
to be asking you all about Social Security. You just remember what we
talked about."

"He can't remember anything," Rummy said.

I started to holler. Dick's face was red and he looked at Rummy. "I
told you to hush up already," Dick said. "Now look what you've gone
and done."

"Go and get him Saddam's gun," Condi said. "You know how he likes to hold
it."

Dick went to my desk drawer and took out Saddam's gun. He gave it to
me, and it was hot in my hands. Rummy pulled the gun away.

"Do you want him carrying a gun into the press conference?" Rummy
said. "Can't you think any better than he can?"

I was hollering and Dick was turning red and then white and the room
was tilted.

"You give him that gun back, right this minute," Condi said. Rummy
gave me Saddam's gun back and I held it my hands. It was hot like a
horseshoe.

"You got the gun, now you stop that hollering," Rummy said.

Condi patted me on the back. "It sure is hot in here," she said. She
fanned herself and took off her jacket. She smelled like perfume.

-30-

On 8/12/05, Curt Raymond <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
>
>
> In fact I believe it was Mark Twain who said he didn't have any use for a
> person who could only spell a word one way.
>
> When I first saw Andrew's post my first thought was that President Clinton
> got Laid and later Lied about it. Good way to remember the difference.
>
> -Curt
>
> Date: Thu, 11 Aug 2005 20:19:43 -0700
> From: "JJJ" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Subject: Re: [MBZ] clogged radiator?
> To: "Mercedes mailing list" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Message-ID: <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed; charset="iso-8859-1";
> reply-type=original
>
> Kaleb, it's not LAYing around, it's LYing around.  And when you
> recline, you LIE down, not LAY down, as all the yoga and pilates
> instructors say.
>
> Sorry for being such a twit but this is one of my pet peeves...  Only
> 5 percent of the populace knows the difference beween "lay" and "lie".
> I guesss you have to be a baby boomer...
>
>
>
> andrew...andru...andrehw...take a big breath...and breathe...
>
> any good student of the language watches it change, despite the
> rules...and
> almost everyone nos that kalb in okidum is on of the imnovatrors...i
> men
> reley...where du yu cum off with speling ruls on this list???!!!
>
>
> ________________________________
> Start your day with Yahoo! - make it your home page
>
>
> _______________________________________
> For used parts email [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> For new parts see www.buymbparts.com
> For repairs see www.oldworldauto.com
>
> To Unsubscribe or change delivery options go to:
> http://striplin.net/mailman/listinfo/mercedes_striplin.net
>
>
>

_______________________________________
For used parts email [EMAIL PROTECTED]
For new parts see www.buymbparts.com
For repairs see www.oldworldauto.com

To Unsubscribe or change delivery options go to:
http://striplin.net/mailman/listinfo/mercedes_striplin.net



Reply via email to