*laughing* Brilliant, mate. On Tue, Dec 30, 2008 at 7:25 PM, archytas <[email protected]> wrote:
> > After the recent teetering-on-the-edge-of-total-economic-and-financial- > meltdown couple of months, it seems appropriate to simplify matters by > explaining 21 economic models using cows : > > > SOCIALISM > > You have 2 cows. > > You give one to your neighbour. > > > COMMUNISM > > You have 2 cows. > > The State takes both and gives you some milk. > > > FASCISM > > You have 2 cows. > > The State takes both and sells you some milk. > > > NAZISM > > You have 2 cows. > > The State takes both and shoots you. > > > BUREAUCRATISM > > You have 2 cows. > > The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the > milk > > away... > > > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM > > You have two cows. > > You sell one and buy a bull. > > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. > > You sell them and retire on the income. > > > SURREALISM > > You have two giraffes. > > The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. > > > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. > > Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped > dead. > > > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM > > You have two cows. > > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters > of > > credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/ > equity > > swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows > back, > > with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows > are > > transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly > owned by > > the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back > to your > > listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, > with an > > option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the > United > > States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with > the release. > > The public then buys your bull. > > > A FRENCH CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you > want > > three cows. > > > A JAPANESE CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow > and > > produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon > image > > called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. > > > A GERMAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and > milk > > themselves. > > > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. > > You decide to have lunch. > > > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You count them and learn you have five cows. > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. > > You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. > > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. > > > A SWISS CORPORATION > > You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. > > You charge the owners for storing them. > > > A CHINESE CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You have 300 people milking them. > > You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine > productivity. > > You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. > > > AN INDIAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > You worship them. > > > A BRITISH CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > Both are mad. > > > AN IRAQI CORPORATION > > Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. > > You tell them that you have none. > > No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your > > country. > > You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a > Democracy... > > > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > Business seems pretty good. > > You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. > > > A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION > > You have two cows. > > The one on the left looks very attractive. > > > > --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
