Sadly not mine Chris - sent to me by a former grad student of mine with an invitation to test some "home brew". I'd probably add something to the capitalist model - you retire to discover the financial services industry has stolen your pension pot! Otherwise I can vouchsafe the accuracy! I am writing something with the working title "Horses' Arse Management" along similar lines. An example would be: PERSONNEL - correctly spelt "Poisonell". The department run by Cruella de Ville. HRM - horses' arses resource management. The department run by men who would dress as Cruela de Ville if they had any courage. In practice they get their kicks as the rear end of pantomime donkeys. Religion involves ritual sacrifice of the working class at the alter of redundancy. We could all contribute to this book and see if we could make a collective few bob.
On 31 Dec, 00:32, "Chris Jenkins" <[email protected]> wrote: > *laughing* > Brilliant, mate. > > > > On Tue, Dec 30, 2008 at 7:25 PM, archytas <[email protected]> wrote: > > > After the recent teetering-on-the-edge-of-total-economic-and-financial- > > meltdown couple of months, it seems appropriate to simplify matters by > > explaining 21 economic models using cows : > > > SOCIALISM > > > You have 2 cows. > > > You give one to your neighbour. > > > COMMUNISM > > > You have 2 cows. > > > The State takes both and gives you some milk. > > > FASCISM > > > You have 2 cows. > > > The State takes both and sells you some milk. > > > NAZISM > > > You have 2 cows. > > > The State takes both and shoots you. > > > BUREAUCRATISM > > > You have 2 cows. > > > The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the > > milk > > > away... > > > TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM > > > You have two cows. > > > You sell one and buy a bull. > > > Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. > > > You sell them and retire on the income. > > > SURREALISM > > > You have two giraffes. > > > The government requires you to take harmonica lessons. > > > AN AMERICAN CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. > > > Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped > > dead. > > > ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM > > > You have two cows. > > > You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters > > of > > > credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/ > > equity > > > swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows > > back, > > > with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows > > are > > > transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly > > owned by > > > the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back > > to your > > > listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, > > with an > > > option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the > > United > > > States , leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with > > the release. > > > The public then buys your bull. > > > A FRENCH CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you > > want > > > three cows. > > > A JAPANESE CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow > > and > > > produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon > > image > > > called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide. > > > A GERMAN CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and > > milk > > > themselves. > > > AN ITALIAN CORPORATION > > > You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. > > > You decide to have lunch. > > > A RUSSIAN CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You count them and learn you have five cows. > > > You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. > > > You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. > > > You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. > > > A SWISS CORPORATION > > > You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. > > > You charge the owners for storing them. > > > A CHINESE CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You have 300 people milking them. > > > You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine > > productivity. > > > You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation. > > > AN INDIAN CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > You worship them. > > > A BRITISH CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > Both are mad. > > > AN IRAQI CORPORATION > > > Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. > > > You tell them that you have none. > > > No-one believes you, so they bomb you and invade your > > > country. > > > You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a > > Democracy... > > > AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > Business seems pretty good. > > > You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate. > > > A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION > > > You have two cows. > > > The one on the left looks very attractive.- Hide quoted text - > > - Show quoted text - --~--~---------~--~----~------------~-------~--~----~ You received this message because you are subscribed to the Google Groups ""Minds Eye"" group. To post to this group, send email to [email protected] To unsubscribe from this group, send email to [email protected] For more options, visit this group at http://groups.google.com/group/Minds-Eye?hl=en -~----------~----~----~----~------~----~------~--~---
