Someone recently mentioned this well-known prayer attributed to
Reinhold Niebuhr (although this version is possibly slightly altered
from the form in which he wrote it):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reinhold_Niebuhr

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can change,
And wisdom to know the difference."

In respect of one's own self, how in practice does one recognise the
difference between those two kinds of "thing"?

Assume that a person wishes to change whatever about themselves should
be changed. (Without that wish, there is nothing much to discuss.) If
something about that person can be changed, will they come to have an
understanding of that particular fault as if from a viewpoint higher
or other than their own, at the same time as retaining their original
point of view in a modified form?  On the other hand, if something
about themselves cannot be changed, will they merely feel an opaque
sense of irremediable guilt and despair, and no awareness of the fault
as if from outside themselves, however hard and however long they try?
And on the /other/ other hand, if something about a person genuinely
cannot be changed, then can anything be said in general terms as to
whether that defect might be a truly bad thing, or whether it can
always be accepted as a part of that person, rather than a moral
fault?  And finally, does belief in an omnipotent judgemental God tend
to force all of a person's defects to be regarded as belonging to the
second category, even when in fact they belong to the first category?

(Of course, a person may feel opaque guilt and despair even about
something that can in fact be changed, because they are clinging to
their fault and failing or refusing to recognise it, but I am assuming
that they have "the best will in the world", and know from experience
that they are capable of recognising some things about themselves that
can be changed.)
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