For those of you who were unaware, the Washington DC area is being
inundated with a bizzard of Biblical proportions - at last check a
max. of 9 inches by this afternoon.  Being a dutiful egg, I drove to
work and unlike so many other DC area drivers, I made it without
incident (knock on wood).  If I wasn't convinced before, I'm
thoroughly convinced now that DC area drivers are absolute morons!! 
My favorites were the pickup trucks with snowplows cruising at 50 mph
(I averaged about 35 mph) and the Honduh Civic hogging the left-side
of the Beltline at a whopping 20 mph!!  

The new traffic laws are:  

If driving an AWD or 4WD vehicle, drive as RAPIDLY as possible (as if
it were dry), cutting off as many lesser vehicles en route.  After
vehicle rolls over, contact the tire and vehicle manufacturers (via
your attorney) to instigate a lawsuit stating that you weren't
sufficiently warned about the dangers of AWD/4WD and slippery
conditions.  

If driving a RWD vehicle, drive as SLOWLY as possible in the centre
of the roadway, obstructing all other lanes to keep anyone from
passing.  When forced off the road by an AWD or 4WD vehicle, contact
Law Enforcement immediately to report YOURSELF as a moving hazard.  

If driving a FWD vehicle of any sort, drive as RAPIDLY as possible
until the vehicle spins out of control.  After placing all the
damaged pieces back in the vehicle, continue in the same manner.

If the aforementioned fails, immediately pull over into the nearest
ditch - if a ditch is unavailable, a divider wall or guardrail will
suffice.  

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