CANDYWRAPPER
It was another Payday and I was tired of Mr.Goodbar. I saw Miss
Hershey standing behind the Powerhouse on the corner of Clark and Fifth
Avenue when I whipped out my Whopper and whispered, "Hey Sweetheart, how'd
you like to Crunch on my big hunk for a Million Dollar Bar?" Well, she
immediately went down on my Tootsie Roll, and it was like pure ALMOND JOY!
I couldn't help but grab her delicious Mounds because it was easy to see
that this little Twix had the Red Hots. It was all I could do to hold the
Snickers and Crackle as my Butterfinger went up her tight little Kit Kat and
she started to scream "Oh Henry, Oh Henry!" Soon she was fondling my Peter
Pan and ZagNut and I knew it wouldn't be long before I blew my Milk Duds
clear to Mars that gave her a taste of the old Milky Way. She asked me if I
was into M&M, but I said, "Hey Chicklet, no kinky stuff." I said "Look you
little Reese's Pieces, don't be a Zero, Be a Lifesaver. Why don't you take
my Watchamacallit and slip it up your Bit ~O~ Honey?" (What a piece of Juicy
Fruit she was too!) She screamed, "Oh Crackerjack, better than the
ThreeMusketeers!" As I rammed my Ding Dong up her Rocky Road and into her
Peanut Butter Cup. Well, I was giving it to her Good ~N~ Plenty, when all of
a sudden... My Starburst!
Yeah, as luck would have it, she started to grow Chunky and complained of a
Wrigley in her stomach. Sure enough, 9 months later, out popped...... Baby
Ruth!
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