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'Three Kick Rule'
A Glasgow lawyer went duck hunting in rural Aberdeenshire . He shot and dropped
a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence.
As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor
and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck and it
fell in this field, and now I'm going to retrieve it."
The old farmer Peter replied, "This is my property, and you are not coming over
here."
The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial lawyers in Scotland and,
if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you and take everything you own."
The old farmer smiled and said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle
disputes in Mintlaw. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three
Kick Rule.'
The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?"
The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go
first. I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back
and forth until someone gives up."
The lawyer quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could
easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.
The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the
attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel-toed work boot into
the lawyer's groin and dropped him to his knees!
His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his
mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear
end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.
Summoning every bit of his will and remaining strength the lawyer very slowly
managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he
said, "Okay, you old fart. Now it's my turn."
(I love this part)
The old farmer smiled and said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck."
When you are educated, you'll believe only half of what you hear.
When you're intelligent, you know which half.
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