lol - Very good Kirby
Just because someone doesn't want to watch 2 men fall in love does not make
them homophobic - It makes them a man!
I havn't got anything against gay men or women for that matter. I'm sure it
is a very well made film in it's own right with a specialist audience. Quite
frankly I'd sooner stay at home and stick pins in my eyes than watch it.
Andy
----Original Message Follows----
From: Kirby McDaniel <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
Reply-To: Kirby McDaniel <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>
To: [email protected]
Subject: [MOPO] Cowboys are my Weakness
Date: Mon, 2 Jan 2006 15:12:10 -0600
From Jan 1, NY TIMES.
Kirby McDaniel
www.movieart.net
Cowboys Are My Weakness
By LARRY DAVID
SOMEBODY had to write this, and it might as well be me. I haven't
seen "Brokeback Mountain," nor do I have any intention of seeing it.
In fact, cowboys would have to lasso me, drag me into the theater and
tie me to the seat, and even then I would make every effort to close
my eyes and cover my ears.
And I love gay people. Hey, I've got gay acquaintances. Good
acquaintances, who know they can call me anytime if they had my phone
number. I'm for gay marriage, gay divorce, gay this and gay that. I
just don't want to watch two straight men, alone on the prairie, fall
in love and kiss and hug and hold hands and whatnot. That's all.
Is that so terrible? Does that mean I'm homophobic? And if I am,
well, then that's too bad. Because you can call me any name you want,
but I'm still not going to that movie.
To my surprise, I have some straight friends who've not only seen the
movie but liked it. "One of the best love stories ever," one gushed.
Another went on, "Oh, my God, you completely forget that it's two
men. You in particular will love it."
"Why me?"
"You just will, trust me."
But I don't trust him. If two cowboys, male icons who are 100 percent
all-man, can succumb, what chance to do I have, half- to a quarter of
a man, depending on whom I'm with at the time? I'm a very susceptible
person, easily influenced, a natural-born follower with no sales-
resistance. When I walk into a store, clerks wrestle one another
trying to get to me first. My wife won't let me watch infomercials
because of all the junk I've ordered that's now piled up in the
garage. My medicine cabinet is filled with vitamins and bald cures.
So who's to say I won't become enamored with the whole gay business?
Let's face it, there is some appeal there. I know I've always gotten
along great with men. I never once paced in my room rehearsing what
to say before asking a guy if he wanted to go to the movies. And I
generally don't pay for men, which of course is their most appealing
attribute.
And gay guys always seem like they're having a great time. At the
Christmas party I went to, they were the only ones who sang. Boy that
looked like fun. I would love to sing, but this weighty, self-
conscious heterosexuality I'm saddled with won't permit it.
I just know if I saw that movie, the voice inside my head that
delights in torturing me would have a field day. "You like those
cowboys, don't you? They're kind of cute. Go ahead, admit it, they're
cute. You can't fool me, gay man. Go ahead, stop fighting it. You're
gay! You're gay!"
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
Larry David appears in the HBO series "Curb Your Enthusiasm."
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