So true, Glenn, I think we might be a little too specific here,
though. It seems drug O.D.'s occur outside Hollywood at an alarming
rate
as do suicides ( think Gay teen suicides are highest) which leads me
to believe that it is a human not a vocational problem. Still, as
Dr. Drew Pinsky related, those in the business of acting tend to need
affirmation from 'without' and thus this business might attract a
higher percentage of those who are at risk. But ultimately, it is a
human problem. It's really a wonder that we survive at all. And
keeping
in mind "What might Belushi have done in the last 26 years..." It
brings up a thought I have had from time to time. Now, am not a
verly religious
guy, but I keep hearing that 'Jesus is coming" only to wonder how
many times he's already tried to come back and has been lost to us in
one
way or another. I mean, we're great with accepting folks as long as
they come wrapped in the packaging that we approve. And if we're hard
on others, just what is going on inside so many of us that doesn't
allow us to accept ourselves?
That being said, the Heath Ledger situation doesn't appear to have
been an intentional O.D.. Still, at his young age, I doubt he would have
had the good sense to simply get help for the root of his
sleeplessness, instead he and his doctors treated the symptoms of his
insomnia with
narcotics. That's what we do in this society. And if we really
cared we wouldn't allow drug commercials on t.v. to spout their snake
oil to the masses
as if they have the cure all for every malady from which we suffer or
think we suffer. I know it is normal to want what we don't have or
perhaps
what we can't have, but at the end of the day, we need to stop
looking for something from the outside to fix what very possibly is
occurring inside
our hearts and heads. If we look at the tragic statistics, it's not
enough to go touting the greatest new pill to relieve our suffering
or there would
be none. And it's not enough to go shouting Jesus will save us from
the rooftops or we would all be saved.
Which begs the question, why does it seem so difficult for us to
realize that we are enough just as we are?
Save yourselves.
Patrick
ps: John Belushi would have been 59 on Thursday, January 24th
On Jan 26, 2008, at 12:18 AM, Glenn Taranto wrote:
Dear MOPO friends,
I wanted to post something about Heath Ledger's death but needed to
make sure I had some time to do it. This is a long post so you may
feel free to delete. Perhaps you will take a moment...
This thing about actors and drugs is something that has haunted me
for years.
I was on the high school newspaper at a time when Saturday Night
Live was in its infant stages and also at its height.
I thought I'd be cute and told my teacher I wanted to go to New
York and interview John Belushi.
She said, if you can get him to agree you can go. I guess she
figured it would never happen.
I called NBC from the office phone and actually got to talk to
Belushi. He said they were going to go to New Orleans in a couple
of weeks to do a show and when they got back we could set something
up.
Naturally everyone thought this was a big deal and they couldn't
wait for me to talk to him next.
I anxiously waited for that New Orleans show to come along. Jerry
Lewis' Broadway show Hellzapoppin' was supposed to have a big
special on that Sunday but when the show closed before it opened
NBC was left with a big gapping hole in their schedule. So they
sent the SNL crowd to New Orleans.
From what I read it was quite a party. The show, as I remember was
not that good. I suspect it had something to do with the fact that
a lot of partying was going on. The Tuesday following I called NBC
again and once again, miraculously, was put through to John
Belushi. The conversation was brief and I could tell that this was
not the "same" John Belushi I had spoken with before. He was a
different person. Seemingly not as upbeat.
He politely refused my request for an interview saying he'd been
misquoted enough in the press. When I pointed out that this was a
high school paper he stated the same and said he wasn't going to do
any more interviews. Thus ended my brush with Belushi and my hope
of going to New York to see SNL.
Later when I got to know Dan Ackroyd's father through a mutual
friend he intimated that was how Belushi was. Often fueled by
drugs he could be one person one day and another person the next.
He said if I had called on Wednesday instead of Tuesday Belushi
might have said yes.
Five years later, in 1982, when I heard Belushi died of drugs I
wasn't surprised. It was almost as if that was where he was headed
anyway. A disappointment certainly but not a surprise.
I've never done anything stronger than aspirin. Subsequently I
never got the whole drug thing.
A year and half later, in 1983, I was working for the accounting
firm Touche Ross. It was without a doubt one of the most depressing
jobs I've ever had. Way down deep in the bowels of the Capitol
building in New York . There were two older women, different as
night and day. Iris, the tough old Irish broad, and Irene, the well-
dressed, gentile Jewish lady. As nice as these two women were to me
this was not a job for a young man. Getting slips of paper from
accountants and finding the file, then replacing the file, then
getting the file, then replacing the file, then, well, you get the
idea.
I would sit there hoping each audition I went on would help rescue
me from this miserable existence. One day, on the radio, came the
announcement that a rising young actor by the name of James Hayden
died of a drug overdose.
I had seen James Hayden in two plays, AMERICAN BUFFALO, the one he
was currently starring in, and just a few months earlier as
Rudolpho in A VIEW FROM THE BRIDGE. His performance as Rudolpho
was heartbreaking. I knew here was an actor of great importance.
Just beginning his career and soon to be someone everyone would know.
When I saw him in AMERICAN BFFALO his ability was cemented for me.
There comes a time in many an actor's life when they realize. OK,
maybe I have some talent but THAT guy is an actor! That's how I
felt about James Hayden. The same way I felt when
I saw a 21 year-old Sean Penn in a play called HEARTLAND. There's
something special there. I wish I had whatever that was.
And when I heard James Hayden had died from a drug overdose it
caused me to wonder very deeply, what is it that he had, that I
wanted that wasn't enough for him? He's starring on Broadway in a
play with Al Pacino making 15 hundred dollars a week. I'm stuck
here in the basement at this lousy job with these two old women. If
anyone should be putting a needle in his arm it's me.
I was haunted by all these thoughts for quite a long time.
Unfortunately, to a lesser degree, I still am. Now that, once
again, drugs, whether intentional or not have claimed Brad Renfro
and Heath Ledger these thoughts come racing back to me. What is
that they have, that I want, that's not enough for them.
Now these questions go far deeper than just fame, fortune and the
chance to be in prestigious projects. It goes to the heart of life
and living. Enjoying what we have. What we've been given. Enjoying
the journey, the people we meet and the friends we make. The rest,
as they as they say, is bullshit.
Now the irony of it all. In 1991 I wrote, directed and starred in a
play that more or less dealt with my feelings about James Hayden's
death. After struggling in New York for ten years I finally got an
agent who a year later asked if I wanted to move to LA to try my
hand in television. I did and I've been here ever since.
New York or LA there's been some success mostly it's all been a
very, very, VERY difficult career. And through it all no drugs of
any kind.
Unfortunately Heath Ledger's death will not prevent another
successful young actor from O'Ding. That's the sad part for me.
There will always be a successful actor who finds something missing
in his life and will hope what ever he's looking for will come in
the form of some kind of drug. And always there will be another
young actor with less talent but with equal or greater desire to
have that career left wondering what is it that they have, that I
want, that isn't enough for them?
Glenn T.
----- Original Message -----
From: Joseph Bonelli
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 5:48 PM
Subject: Re: [MOPO] Heath Ledger 1979-2008
Latest press releases (I'm at work at a New Orleans public radio
station) say that the apartment was not owned by M.K.Olsen-- that's
an official Olsen announcement.
Joe B in NOLA
PS-- Can't get over the shock at the death of this fine young actor.
Susan Heim <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
I just saw that he was found in the apartment of Mary Kate Olson
who was out of town. What a tragedy to such a young life.
Sue Heim
www.hollywoodposterframes.com
----- Original Message -----
From: Richard Del Belso
To: [email protected]
Sent: Tuesday, January 22, 2008 2:48 PM
Subject: Re: [MOPO] Heath Ledger 1979-2008
Yes, this a shocker. My jaw dropped when i read your message. What
a pity...he was such a talented guy.
Richard Del Belso
> Date: Tue, 22 Jan 2008 16:55:25 -0500
> From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> Subject: [MOPO] Heath Ledger 1979-2008
> To: [email protected]
>
> A shocker:
>
> Academy Award nominated Heath Ledger found dead today, age 28.
Here's a
> link:
>
> http://www.tmz.com/
>
> Scott
> MoPo List Owner
>
> Visit the MoPo Mailing List Web Site at www.filmfan.com
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