> > [Marsha]
> > It's not so hard to see them, if you're watching
and not in a hurry.
> >
> >[SA previously]
> > You have time? Isn't this U.S. culture - time
is $?
[Marsha]
> Yes and no, I have chosen time over money. I
retired 9 years ago.
I'm being sensitive when I say this, but I
believe this was a point you were trying to make some
posts ago. If my option is waiting til I retire, then
I still have a long way to go.
> > [SA previously]
> >With what people have you been able to share your
> >time and really get to know them?
[Marsha]
> Hmmmm. We've been here before. I'm an introvert.
> I do not enjoy
> sharing my time casually. You and the people on
> this forum probably
> know me better than most.
Exactly another good point about this social
structure. We've come up with technology to help
re-establish social relationships over and over again.
The telegraph, telephone, radio, television, and
internet, etc... The same for me. This forum
probably knows me better than most.
[Marsha]
> I have a few close friends, but I do not
> know how deeply I know them. I allow them to share
> what they choose to share.
I lost my friends through moving a lot recently,
and find being with the wife, son, occasionally
visiting mother, grandmother, brother, sister, and
other family members, just about it. Yes, that's a
problem of mine, too. This goes back to when I said
how badly I devalue the social level. I fish, canoe,
and backpack, etc... and I don't know many other
people that do. Even while on the trails if I see
more than 1 other person it's gettin' busy when I
think about all my trips combined.
[Marsha]
> I am not sure how well I even knew my
> husband, and we were
> very good friends and lovers.
On the MoQ discuss it's much easier to go into
detail and come up with something new to discuss,
etc... My wife gets the general and some detailed me,
but these posts say much more sadly.
[Marsha]
> It's not easy to know past ones
> expectations of another person. That's a BIG
problem.
Yes, I don't want to upset them, make them feel
sad, left out, and over-do it, etc...
[Marsha]
> BTW, what's you 'real' name? Aren't you hiding, big
time???
Years ago I came up with a name that I felt was my
real name. I journaled about it a lot. My wife even
knitted a poem of mine and signed it with this 'real'
name of mine. I actually have about six names. I
have a multiple personality disorder - just kidding,
hahaha, I hope. Anyways... This name in particular
I'm talking about above is as follows:
Spiritual Warrior
Then I changed it to include the animal I like a
lot to expose more of who I find myself kin to.
Spiritual Cougar Warrior
As a cougar I find myself hesitant at times that
I will lash out, or I could easily lash out at
somebody. I don't mean with anger, though in my
younger years I did have this problem. I mean being
so honest and straightforward that I'll either
embarrass somebody else, myself, and say something too
straightforwardly that I'll seem aggressive. I'm a
loner. I like to hide, watch the ambush but it's
necessary at times, and I can lay on the earth
purring, listening, zoning with this life.
Another name is as follows:
Spiritual Adirondack (SA)
This I came up with as a pen name for the
internet so my name doesn't get sent to places I don't
want it to go.
Another name, the one my parents gave me, yes
that exists, maybe I'm too hesitant at times. Why? -
I have no idea. I'll say the shortened version, but
then again, if I say this other name of mine, then
people might keep calling me by this name, and I don't
feel my name should become too public. When I send
mail, even bills, I don't put my name and address on
them. I get spam at this email address as it is. I
don't know where it is coming from. I've changed my
email address before due to the growing spam. I'm
actually thinking about changing it again, for the
spam is coming more and more often. Do you
understand?
> >[SA previously]
> >This is what I'm getting to. How often, and in
> >what situations are we able to see passed the
> >usual, common, cultural habits/norms, and
> >see who that person really is?
[Marsha]
> I'm not sure what works for others. For me it took
> 6 years of living
> in a semi-solitude. Time to ask the questions and
> wait for some
> answers. Time to pick at some scars and sink deep
> into old
> wounds. Time to realize that there is only one
> source, and that you
> are me, and I am you. That's who that other person
> is too, me and
> you. And it takes vigilance not to forget it.
I'm not talking about how to find out on my own
who that other person is. I'm talking about how I
know you more than the people I meet on the streets.
We've taken the time. We have the chance to get to
know each other. We're breaking barriers on the MoQ
discuss forum, but this forum is here on the internet,
using a computer, and is not at the grocery store.
There are no meeting places around here to discuss
openly and publicly. If I had more $, I'd be able to
make a place that I've dreamnt about for years, but
that's another issue I bring up to show I've thought
about positive solutions to this problem I think
exists. I can delve into myself, and I do, but I'm
talking about Joe-Bob, and Betty-Sue, etc...
[Marsha]
> Jeez, I feel I should list all my bad habits, and
there are many, but
> fuck it, I'm not going to.
I see this forum has allowed us to know each other
greatly, but I guess I see this forum as where I go to
talk about what is happening while I'm away from this
forum. But another big part of my life is on this
forum, too.
SA
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