glad you posted this Marsha - I've always thought this was a very significant part of the book - literally AND figuratively.
> -----Original Message----- > From: [EMAIL PROTECTED] [mailto:moq_discuss- > [EMAIL PROTECTED] On Behalf Of MarshaV > Sent: Sunday, September 07, 2008 1:55 AM > To: MD Forum > Subject: [MD] Nobody's home. > > > 'What?' > > 'I'm not going to answer any more of your questions.' > 'Why not?' > > 'You're the detective. That's what you are. You think you're going to > learn something. I don't know what, but you're not going to learn > anything . . . You'll never find out who I am because I'm not anything.' > > 'What do you mean?' > > 'I'm not anybody. All these questions you're asking are just a waste > of time. I know you're trying to find out what kind of a person I am > but you're never going to find out anything because there's nothing to > know.' > > Her voice was getting slushy. She could tell it was getting slushy. > 'I mean, I used to play I was this kind of person and that kind of > person but I got so tired of playing all those games. It's such work > and it doesn't do any good. There's just all these pictures of who I > am and they don't hold together. They're all different people I'm > supposed to be but none of them are me. I'm not anybody. I'm not > here. Like you now. I can see you've got a lot of bad impressions > about me in your mind. And you think that what's in your mind is here > talking to you but nobody's here. You know what I mean? Nobody's > home. That's Lila. Nobody's home. > 'You know what?' Lila said. > > 'What?' > > 'What you want to do is make me into something I'm not.' > > 'Just the opposite.' > > 'You think just the opposite. But you're really trying to do > something to me that I don't like.' > > 'What's that?' > > 'You're trying to . . . you're trying to destroy me.' > > 'No.' > > 'Yes.' > > 'Well, you've completely misunderstood what I'm asking these > questions for,' the Captain said. > > 'No, I haven't. I've completely understood it just exactly right,' > Lila said. 'All men do that. You're no big exception. Jerry did it. > Every man does it. But you know something? It won't work.' > > 'I'm not trying to destroy you,' he said. > > 'That's what you think. You're just playing around the edges, aren't > you! You can't go to the center of me. You don't know where the > center of me is!' > > That set him back. > > 'You're not a woman. You don't know. When men make love they're > really trying to destroy you. A woman's got to be real quiet inside > because if she shows a man anything they'll try to kill it. > 'But they all get fooled because there's nothing to destroy but > what's in their own mind. And so they destroy that and then they hate > what's left and they call what's left, "Lila," and they hate Lila. > But Lila isn't anybody. That's true. You don't believe it, but it's true. > 'Women are very deep,' Lila said. 'But men never see it. They're too > selfish. They always want women to understand them. And that's all > they ever care about. That's why they always have to try to destroy them.' > > 'I'm just asking questions,' the Captain said. > > 'Fuck your questions! I'm whatever your questions turn me into. You > don't see that. It's your questions that make me who I am. If you > think I'm an angel then that's what I am. If you think I'm a whore > then that's what I am. I'm whatever you think. And if you change your > mind about me then I change too. So whatever Richard tells you, it's > true. There's no way he can lie about me.' > Lila took the bottle and took a swig down straight. 'The hell with > glasses,' she said. 'Everybody wants to turn Lila into somebody else. > And most women put up with that, because they want the kids and the > money and the good-looking clothes. But it won't work with me. I'm > just Lila and I always will be. And if men don't like me the way I > am, then men can just get out. I don't need them. I don't need > anyone. I'll die first. That's just the way I am.' > After a while Lila looked around and saw that all the boats were > lying straight in line just like the Captain said they would be. > That's pretty good. He'd figured that out. She told him about it. He > didn't say anything. He hadn't said anything for a long time. > > (LILA, Chapter 14) > > > > . > . > > Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the > stars......... > . > . > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/ > No virus found in this incoming message. > Checked by AVG - http://www.avg.com > Version: 8.0.169 / Virus Database: 270.6.16/1651 - Release Date: 9/4/2008 > 6:57 AM Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org.uk/pipermail/moq_discuss_archive/
