http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww-_hsVxPa0&feature=related
Separation doesn't mean the same with me and Lu that it does with other people. So I probably should use a different term. We're not fighting or angry. We just realize a need to shift roles a bit. Our kids are grown and stable, and Lu's in a different place working in town, the main support of the family. That's a big difference. I stay out on the ridge because this is where my skills are needed, and its easier when nobody's around to fix things, think and write. I like it. She didn't at first. She never wanted anything out of life but being a pampered housewife and tho' her high school career counselor was shocked and tried to convince her otherwise, she never wanted anything else. And then she went off and married me. Hah! Go figure. But she's really adapting well. The kids she teaches art really love her. And they're all crazy for the drama class my middle child sarah is teaching too. Which is a big consideration. Lu doesn't like forging through life on her own. She was born English and moved a lot. English always want to know the social rules, and when you move a lot, they're always changing. But her daughters are 21, 18 and 16 and all together they make a formidable and survivable team. They've been more economically productive doing baby sitting than I have with carpentry! The other teachers really love her and the principle of the school is that the principal is in charge and she absolutely adores her. And she's shifting into something different, and its hard, but she's doing well and I'm proud of her. And the fact that we just visit on weekends makes the weekends more intense. There can be different rhythms of differing relationships and their not always easy to explain to outsiders but for some reason it's important to try. Here is what I found at Burning Man - a circle. A small circle, in cosmic terms. A literal circle drawn in the dust, by the hands of men and dwarfed by the circles of the earth and the moon and the orbits of the cosmos, But a circle full of human ideas and art. Ideas and art that whispered "you don't have to do it this way, or that way. You don't have to be constrained by social patterns." Then DQ University and Masanobu Fukuoka and the idea that living on the planet is being done all wrong, just blended with the circles in my mind which I wish to continue, amplify upon and expand. And I have to draw apart to do so. The time I went to Burning Man, my wife had a whole different perspective. She suffered a whole series of troublesome tragedy, unaided and all alone. I'll leave it to her to give her perspective someday. She says she'd gonna. And that week was followed by my truck breaking down, my uninsured, brand new motorcycle wreck and subsequent loss of work and so much crap in one go, that if you took it apart from the whole rest of the deal, and weighed it in the balances - I'd be found desperately wanting, no doubt about it at all in MY mind. But she persevered. We both persevere. I'm willin'. Lu actually has had grave doubts at times. She did give me an ultimatum, when I was heading to Burning Man that I'd better actually follow through on this, or she'd lose faith, probably for good. She'd grown tired of me always talking about ideas I never implemented so that was an extra drive to get there and get it done, despite hell and high water, in an effort to demonstrate something about new ways of living on the planet. A return to Burning Man now seems probably like the last idea in the world, to request of my long-suffering wife. But this time it is different. This time it isn't going to a far off place in the desert. It's getting a different attitude, where I am now. Coming out of babylon, in this place. And the advantage is I don't have to strike camp. I can just leave it up and use the structures I create. And by "this place" I don't mean "wherever I happen to be". I mean THIS place. This place I dwell, this home on the ridge, this spot on the great California surfboard. This is important because I believe the purpose of consciousness is to articulate environment. to understand and "speak for the trees". To be a voice for a place and to demonstrate with right actions, the best way of dwelling in that place, for yourself and for the place. It's a win/win, if done right. I want to do it right and I sort of have to ignore everybody else, to do that successfully. "The single man cares for the things of God, how he can please the Lord, but the married man cares for the things of the world, how he can please he wife." That was that misogynist Paul, speaking, but I'd bet Buddha would agree. I'd guess every man who ever lived would nod along with that formulation. The trouble is, what to do about it? Fight it, or go with the flow? I'd say my conclusion is go with the flow, but don't get swept away. Surf, rather than float. Use some damn judgement, fer goodness sake. The orchard, below the house, holds a school bus and old vehicles waiting to be mechaniced. A 73 VW camper that Bill used to own that needs the carbs rebuilt and my grandpa's 73 chevy one-ton, dually, camper special that is NON SMOG !! Yay. That needs new ignition wiring, and a bunch of stuff that needs organizing and one computer with internet connection, an RV and me. I won't be far. some separations are meant as movement away but closer to the heart. Lu's in town and we'll probably try and rent out the house ASAP. And when the cold rains loom, I'll drive the RV down to Sacramento again, live during the week and go to truck driving school. Once my job is established Lu can stay home again for a while. It's good to take turns in marriage. It really is. Here's a special song for a special someone on their birthday. This was the first piece of music I ever bought in my life, Linda Ronstadt's Heart Like a Wheel (.. but my love, for you is like a sinking ship, and my heart is on that ship out in mid ocean... such poignancy!) Now that I think about it I wouldn't be surprised if this song is a big part of why I wanna be a truck drive! Along with a restless urge to keep movin', to see what's over the horizon. To travel. In my mind, if nothing else. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJHcD0kHTGk&feature=related Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
