Laughter will wait for another day, Marsha. Everything in its time.
On Mon, Sep 6, 2010 at 11:08 AM, MarshaV <[email protected]> wrote: > > John, > > Even within its beauty this seems sad, i don't know what to say, > but I wish I could make you laugh. > > > Marsha > > > > > On Sep 5, 2010, at 9:16 PM, John Carl wrote: > > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ww-_hsVxPa0&feature=related > > > > Separation doesn't mean the same with me and Lu that it does with other > > people. So I probably should use a different term. We're not fighting > or > > angry. We just realize a need to shift roles a bit. Our kids are grown > and > > stable, and Lu's in a different place working in town, the main support > of > > the family. That's a big difference. I stay out on the ridge because > this > > is where my skills are needed, and its easier when nobody's around to fix > > things, think and write. I like it. She didn't at first. She never > wanted > > anything out of life but being a pampered housewife and tho' her high > school > > career counselor was shocked and tried to convince her otherwise, she > never > > wanted anything else. And then she went off and married me. Hah! Go > > figure. > > > > But she's really adapting well. The kids she teaches art really love > her. > > And they're all crazy for the drama class my middle child sarah is > teaching > > too. Which is a big consideration. Lu doesn't like forging through life > on > > her own. She was born English and moved a lot. English always want to > know > > the social rules, and when you move a lot, they're always changing. But > her > > daughters are 21, 18 and 16 and all together they make a formidable and > > survivable team. They've been more economically productive doing baby > > sitting than I have with carpentry! The other teachers really love her > and > > the principle of the school is that the principal is in charge and she > > absolutely adores her. And she's shifting into something different, and > its > > hard, but she's doing well and I'm proud of her. > > > > And the fact that we just visit on weekends makes the weekends more > intense. > > There can be different rhythms of differing relationships and their not > > always easy to explain to outsiders but for some reason it's important to > > try. > > > > > > Here is what I found at Burning Man - a circle. A small circle, in > cosmic > > terms. A literal circle drawn in the dust, by the hands of men and > dwarfed > > by the circles of the earth and the moon and the orbits of the cosmos, > But a > > circle full of human ideas and art. Ideas and art that whispered "you > don't > > have to do it this way, or that way. You don't have to be constrained by > > social patterns." Then DQ University and Masanobu Fukuoka and the idea > that > > living on the planet is being done all wrong, just blended with the > circles > > in my mind which I wish to continue, amplify upon and expand. And I have > to > > draw apart to do so. > > > > > > The time I went to Burning Man, my wife had a whole different > perspective. > > She suffered a whole series of troublesome tragedy, unaided and all > alone. > > I'll leave it to her to give her perspective someday. She says she'd > > gonna. > > > > And that week was followed by my truck breaking down, my uninsured, > brand > > new motorcycle wreck and subsequent loss of work and so much crap in one > go, > > that if you took it apart from the whole rest of the deal, and weighed it > in > > the balances - I'd be found desperately wanting, no doubt about it at all > in > > MY mind. But she persevered. We both persevere. I'm willin'. > > > > Lu actually has had grave doubts at times. She did give me an ultimatum, > > when I was heading to Burning Man that I'd better actually follow through > on > > this, or she'd lose faith, probably for good. She'd grown tired of me > > always talking about ideas I never implemented so that was an extra > drive > > to get there and get it done, despite hell and high water, in an effort > to > > demonstrate something about new ways of living on the planet. > > > > A return to Burning Man now seems probably like the last idea in the > world, > > to request of my long-suffering wife. But this time it is different. > This > > time it isn't going to a far off place in the desert. It's getting a > > different attitude, where I am now. Coming out of babylon, in this > place. > > And the advantage is I don't have to strike camp. I can just leave it up > > and use the structures I create. > > > > And by "this place" I don't mean "wherever I happen to be". I mean THIS > > place. This place I dwell, this home on the ridge, this spot on the > great > > California surfboard. This is important because I believe the purpose of > > consciousness is to articulate environment. to understand and "speak for > > the trees". To be a voice for a place and to demonstrate with right > > actions, the best way of dwelling in that place, for yourself and for the > > place. It's a win/win, if done right. I want to do it right and I sort > of > > have to ignore everybody else, to do that successfully. > > > > "The single man cares for the things of God, how he can please the Lord, > but > > the married man cares for the things of the world, how he can please he > > wife." > > > > That was that misogynist Paul, speaking, but I'd bet Buddha would agree. > > I'd guess every man who ever lived would nod along with that formulation. > > The trouble is, what to do about it? Fight it, or go with the flow? I'd > > say my conclusion is go with the flow, but don't get swept away. Surf, > > rather than float. Use some damn judgement, fer goodness sake. > > > > > > The orchard, below the house, holds a school bus and old vehicles waiting > to > > be mechaniced. A 73 VW camper that Bill used to own that needs the > carbs > > rebuilt and my grandpa's 73 chevy one-ton, dually, camper special that is > > NON SMOG !! Yay. That needs new ignition wiring, and a bunch of stuff > that > > needs organizing and one computer with internet connection, an RV and me. > I > > won't be far. some separations are meant as movement away but closer to > the > > heart. Lu's in town and we'll probably try and rent out the house ASAP. > > > > And when the cold rains loom, I'll drive the RV down to Sacramento again, > > live during the week and go to truck driving school. Once my job is > > established Lu can stay home again for a while. It's good to take turns > in > > marriage. It really is. > > > > > > Here's a special song for a special someone on their birthday. This was > the > > first piece of music I ever bought in my life, Linda Ronstadt's Heart > Like a > > Wheel (.. but my love, for you is like a sinking ship, and my heart is on > > that ship out in mid ocean... such poignancy!) > > > > Now that I think about it I wouldn't be surprised if this song is a big > > part of why I wanna be a truck drive! Along with a restless urge to keep > > movin', to see what's over the horizon. To travel. In my mind, if > nothing > > else. > > > > http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJHcD0kHTGk&feature=related > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > > Archives: > > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > > http://moq.org/md/archives.html > > > > ___ > > > Moq_Discuss mailing list > Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. > http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org > Archives: > http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ > http://moq.org/md/archives.html > Moq_Discuss mailing list Listinfo, Unsubscribing etc. http://lists.moqtalk.org/listinfo.cgi/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org Archives: http://lists.moqtalk.org/pipermail/moq_discuss-moqtalk.org/ http://moq.org/md/archives.html
