Back home!  Amongst my family, home and books.  I read a passage (from
Royce's The Rediscovery of the Inner Life)  this morning that very much made
me think of Marsha.  (parenthetitcal comments my own MoQ interpretation)


Every true lover has in the beginning of his love grave doubts of his
beloved's affection for him.  And such doubts often take on bitter and even
cynical forms in his soul in the various bad quarters of an hour that fall
to his lot.  Doubt, however, is not the foe, but the very inspirer of his
love.  It means that the beloved is yet to be won.  It means that the simple
warmth of his aspiration isn't enough, and that, if the beloved is worth
winning, she is worth wooing through doubt and uncertainty for a good
while.  Moreover, it is not the fashion of the beloved to be especially
forward in  quelling such doubts, by making clear her attitude too soon.  If
it were, love-making might be a simple affair, but would not be so
significant an experience as it is.


Doubt is the cloud that is needed as a background for love's rainbow.


Even so  in the world of abstract thought.  The more serious faiths of
humanity can only be won, if at all, by virtue of much doubting.  The divine
truth   (DQ) is essentially coy.  You woo her, you toil for her, you reflect
upon her by night and by day, you search through books, study nature, make
experiments, dissect brains, hold learned disputations, take counsel o the
wise; in fine, your prepare your own ripest thought, and lay it before your
heavenly mistress when you have done your best.  Will she be pleased? Will
she reward you with a glance of approval?  Will she say, Thou has well
spoken concerning me?


Who can tell?  Her eyes have their own beautiful fashion of looking far off
when you want them to be turned upon you; and, after all, perhaps she
prefers other suitors for her favor.  The knowledge that she is of
sufficiently exalted dignity to be indifferent to you, if she chooses, is
what constitutes the mood known as philosophical skepticism.  It is not
then, a deadening and weakening mood;  it is the very soul of philosophical
earnestness (caring).
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