Hello all,
This is my first post. I have yet to finish Lila but have read ZMM several
times.
My 2 cents worth:
My feeling of alienation now as an adult at 28 is much different from the
feeling
I had as a high schooler. Then I was the metalhead in a school of preppies
and jocks;
the ol' stereotypes you see in movies like The Breakfast Club or Fast Times.
Then
I felt like I wasn't part of any cliques though I wanted to be. It was due
to
simple choices (music, mode of dress, etc)..an easy cut with Phaedrus'
knife.
Now I seem to have a deeper sense of not fitting in. It is more of choice,
a hint of
misanthropy..this may be an extreme word but it's the closest I can come up
with.
I have good working relationships but in my personal life I am isolated.
I struggle to relate with those around me. I become bored or annoyed
easily.
I wonder silently "how can these people just sit here and yammer on and on
about
nothing!!!" The differences are harder to spot, the lines aren't so
concrete.
I agree, there were symptoms early on which may have prefaced who I am today
but
I think it is something deeper, more to root. It's something like nature vs.
nurture.
Am I the product of those external factors or did I make the choice
somewhere?
"Integration" was a term that popped in my head one day and continues to be
the
impetus which drives me. That feeling of alienation comes from internal
turmoil,
a feeling of duality (the child vs. the adult, intellect vs emotion,
spiritualist vs hedonist)...
Perhaps I am completely wrong on this, but thank y'all for the catharsis.
[EMAIL PROTECTED]
-----Original Message-----
From: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
[mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]On Behalf Of Sasu Mattila
Sent: Tuesday, September 26, 2000 6:13 PM
To: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
Subject: RE: MD MOQ inc.
>Everybody is his/her own odd one out.
"Remember, you are unique, just like everybody else."
I do not know who said that but it was well said.
We all are different, but then again on a larger scale we are nothing that
someone else has not been already.
sasu
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