[Ron]
A Low quality experience

[Case]
So how would you say a low Quality experience of the sort you describe
affects someone's belief in the power of the individual? You know, that
everyone is responsible for their actions. Everyone is a free and
autonomous agent. The world is your oyster... You can be anything you
want to be...
There is nothing between you and what you want but thin air... Does a
low Quality experience like that change the meaning of such Plattitudes?


[Ron]
As I see it Case, it can go a few different ways. One could buy into the
"victim" philosophy that one
Is a victim of circumstnce. That somehow you deserve this position and
fear of it getting worse inhibits
Any action, which was the path I took. Then one day I took my 14 yr old
hand and shaped it into a fist.
It was very liberating day, I did'nt care about the consequence or the
fear. It was'nt on the fellas who
Did that, but I hit that kid like it was. It was through violence and
self preservation that I defined
And became aware of being a free agent to act apon life and not the
reverse. Or, you can go down the
Victim path and kill yourself. I've spent a few hours contemplating life
at the end of a pistol barrel
And always came to the resolve of influencing life rather than life
influencing me. The pull towards
Self destruction through alcohol and drugs was enormous but through
dedication to refining the skills
Of self preservation I was able to steer clear of it for the most part.
It is a daily fight not
To let those experiences cloud my judgement. I have worked hard at being
conscious and aware of it's
Influence on my thoughts and behaviour and to know that I am a free
agent to allow it to or not.
I view it now as both a boon and a curse. It has heighten my own sense
of self responsibility.





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