Hi Lori, What you describe here is important. I am on the Discipline Without Stress listserv and the listserv moderator talks a lot about Gordon Neufeld - I think he's a psychologist - and his theory of attachment - how important it is. I find, as a mother, that these kinds of expressions of affection that you talk about are different from what Robin was referring to. These are about kids and significant others showing how much they care for each other and, in some cases, some sadness or even distress at parting. I do think that the parting issue is something that gets easier as kids realize that you will return for them at the end of the day. What I saw in my grade one classroom were kids who are given everything they ask for and parents who refuse to allow their children to become naturally independent. Make sense? Elisa Waingort Calgary, Canada Speaking immature, when my youngest was in kindergarten he would joyously greet me in the hallways of our school with a hug and kiss. Every time. Bugged his kinder teacher ( a friend, a neighbor, a good teacher) to death and she kept saying things to him that were sooo well intentioned, like "big boys don't kiss their mothers" and I know she meant at school. I had to talk to her about Isaac, to explain that I always followed my kid's leads and how different they each were. One just plain divorced me on the first day of school. This was my baby, he is a very demonstrative guy, and frankly, I was going to TAKE those hugs and kisses as long as he was OFFERING (which was pretty much until Middle School!!!). I don't think she ever approved, but she accepted it. Do you suppose she thought we were both immature?? I better not tell her that Isaac still loves kissin' and huggin' in the safety of his own home!!!
In the same line, had a first grader who had been retained as a kinder for 'immaturity' and I know that the teacher had a major issue with this kiddo and the relationship he had with his grandfather. Year one, granddad carried him on his hip, kiddo's arms around his neck, to kinder every morning and they chatted merrily to one another all the way. Sometimes, okay often times, there were tears upon parting. He was retained and year two, it went to a piggyback and evolved to handholding. Granddad always was encouraged to separate outside the classroom door. Year three--he is MINE!! Day one, granddad walked him, hand in hand, to first grade and lingered outside the door, worried, I think. I invited him in, told him (and I meant it) how lucky this kiddo was to be so loved. Where I teach, families are so splintered and so many are growing up without a male presence, let alone someone who clearly loves so much. Well, by and by, grandpa told me the story. He was not even grandpa, he was grandma's partner and together they had raised the boy since being abandoned by his mother at the age of three or four. Told me a lot about those arms around the neck days. For about half a year, they came together and I encouraged granddad to sign our guest book and walk with his grandson to breakfast. After a bit, kiddo came alone (unless G.D. Needed to visit with me about something), but every parent day, every event, there was granddad and often grandma (but not so often, she has terrible arthritis in her knees). I felt so blessed to have this kiddo (eccentrically brilliant kid, gifted in every way but those we traditionally measure) in my classroom for two years and I guess his 'immaturity' had a silver lining. If he had not been retained, he would not have hit my loop and I would not have experienced the joy of knowing him. Lori On 7/30/07 12:40 AM, "Waingort Jimenez, Elisa" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Hi Robin, > What you describe below sounds like a "pampered child". I strongly recommend > a book > by the same name that has put into perspective a lot of "off the wall" > behaviors I have been > seeing this past school year. Sorry, can't remember the author but I'm sure a > quick google > search will give you this information. > Elisa Waingort > Calgary, Canada > > One year I had a child who I considered very immature. Here are the things I > noticed: he sucked his thumb when stressed, he cried frequently, his comments > during class discussions were often off-topic and tended to be much more > "me-centered" than was typical at that time of year for second graders, he > could not play well with other children, especially in competitive games > because if he was losing he would have a tantrum and quit or throw his pieces > or cry (or all of the above), his handwriting looked like a kindergartner's > writing (very poor fine-motor control), his attention span was very limited > (more like a typical 4-5 year old), and he was much more literal in his > thinking than the other children. > > Was this typical "boy behavior"? I don't think so. The other boys in the class > did not behave like this, my experience with my own son and his friends did > not match this child's behavior, and it was obvious he was struggling to meet > the expectations of a second grade classroom in a way that even the "wiggly > boys" did not. > > Just my experience, > Robin > _______________________________________________ > Mosaic mailing list > [email protected] > To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to > http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org. > > Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive. > -- Lori Jackson District Literacy Coach & Mentor Todd County School District Box 87 Mission SD 57555 http:www.tcsdk12.org ph. 605.856.2211 Literacies for All Summer Institute July 17-20. 2008 Tucson, Arizona _______________________________________________ Mosaic mailing list [email protected] To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org. Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
_______________________________________________ Mosaic mailing list [email protected] To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org. Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
