OH, YEAH, I translated the pampered child to spoiled rotten. ;-) Funny thing, my most demonstrative kid is my most secure kid. The other two want to hear from me almost daily when I travel or when they are away from me, but the huggy guy is totally secure.
Lori On 7/30/07 8:20 AM, "Waingort Jimenez, Elisa" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote: > Hi Lori, > What you describe here is important. I am on the Discipline Without Stress > listserv and the listserv moderator talks a lot about Gordon Neufeld - I think > he's a psychologist - and his theory of attachment - how important it is. I > find, as a mother, that these kinds of expressions of affection that you talk > about are different from what Robin was referring to. These are about kids > and significant others showing how much they care for each other and, in > some cases, some sadness or even distress at parting. I do think that the > parting issue is something that gets easier as kids realize that you will > return > for them at the end of the day. What I saw in my grade one classroom were > kids who are given everything they ask for and parents who refuse to allow > their children to become naturally independent. > Make sense? > Elisa Waingort > Calgary, Canada > > Speaking immature, when my youngest was in kindergarten he would joyously > greet me in the hallways of our school with a hug and kiss. Every time. > Bugged his kinder teacher ( a friend, a neighbor, a good teacher) to death > and she kept saying things to him that were sooo well intentioned, like "big > boys don't kiss their mothers" and I know she meant at school. I had to > talk to her about Isaac, to explain that I always followed my kid's leads > and how different they each were. One just plain divorced me on the first > day of school. This was my baby, he is a very demonstrative guy, and > frankly, I was going to TAKE those hugs and kisses as long as he was > OFFERING (which was pretty much until Middle School!!!). I don't think she > ever approved, but she accepted it. Do you suppose she thought we were both > immature?? I better not tell her that Isaac still loves kissin' and huggin' > in the safety of his own home!!! > > In the same line, had a first grader who had been retained as a kinder for > 'immaturity' and I know that the teacher had a major issue with this kiddo > and the relationship he had with his grandfather. Year one, granddad > carried him on his hip, kiddo's arms around his neck, to kinder every > morning and they chatted merrily to one another all the way. Sometimes, > okay often times, there were tears upon parting. He was retained and year > two, it went to a piggyback and evolved to handholding. Granddad always was > encouraged to separate outside the classroom door. Year three--he is MINE!! > Day one, granddad walked him, hand in hand, to first grade and lingered > outside the door, worried, I think. I invited him in, told him (and I meant > it) how lucky this kiddo was to be so loved. Where I teach, families are so > splintered and so many are growing up without a male presence, let alone > someone who clearly loves so much. Well, by and by, grandpa told me the > story. He was not even grandpa, he was grandma's partner and together they > had raised the boy since being abandoned by his mother at the age of three > or four. Told me a lot about those arms around the neck days. For about > half a year, they came together and I encouraged granddad to sign our guest > book and walk with his grandson to breakfast. After a bit, kiddo came alone > (unless G.D. Needed to visit with me about something), but every parent day, > every event, there was granddad and often grandma (but not so often, she has > terrible arthritis in her knees). I felt so blessed to have this kiddo > (eccentrically brilliant kid, gifted in every way but those we traditionally > measure) in my classroom for two years and I guess his 'immaturity' had a > silver lining. If he had not been retained, he would not have hit my loop > and I would not have experienced the joy of knowing him. > > Lori > > > On 7/30/07 12:40 AM, "Waingort Jimenez, Elisa" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> > wrote: > >> Hi Robin, >> What you describe below sounds like a "pampered child". I strongly recommend >> a book >> by the same name that has put into perspective a lot of "off the wall" >> behaviors I have been >> seeing this past school year. Sorry, can't remember the author but I'm sure >> a >> quick google >> search will give you this information. >> Elisa Waingort >> Calgary, Canada >> >> One year I had a child who I considered very immature. Here are the things I >> noticed: he sucked his thumb when stressed, he cried frequently, his comments >> during class discussions were often off-topic and tended to be much more >> "me-centered" than was typical at that time of year for second graders, he >> could not play well with other children, especially in competitive games >> because if he was losing he would have a tantrum and quit or throw his pieces >> or cry (or all of the above), his handwriting looked like a kindergartner's >> writing (very poor fine-motor control), his attention span was very limited >> (more like a typical 4-5 year old), and he was much more literal in his >> thinking than the other children. >> >> Was this typical "boy behavior"? I don't think so. The other boys in the >> class >> did not behave like this, my experience with my own son and his friends did >> not match this child's behavior, and it was obvious he was struggling to meet >> the expectations of a second grade classroom in a way that even the "wiggly >> boys" did not. >> >> Just my experience, >> Robin >> _______________________________________________ >> Mosaic mailing list >> [email protected] >> To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to >> http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org. >> >> Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive. >> -- Lori Jackson District Literacy Coach & Mentor Todd County School District Box 87 Mission SD 57555 http:www.tcsdk12.org ph. 605.856.2211 Literacies for All Summer Institute July 17-20. 2008 Tucson, Arizona _______________________________________________ Mosaic mailing list [email protected] To unsubscribe or modify your membership please go to http://literacyworkshop.org/mailman/options/mosaic_literacyworkshop.org. Search the MOSAIC archives at http://snipurl.com/MosaicArchive.
