Well, its time that Sharon Sayles Belton come clean.  Time to tell the truth
as people on this list keep implying that she is hiding great secrets.  To
help people "not in the know" about Sharon, I have compiled the following
list of "secret" things that Sharon Sayles Belton is responsible for:

Jimmie Hoffa - last seen in her trunk.

Global warming, her fault.  Doesn't replace the screen with a storm window
on her back door in the winter.

George Bush in the White House?  Secretly flew to Florida (on off-weeks of
Council) and shook ballots, causing dangling chads to dislodge.

Airport noise?  From all those flights to Florida to dislodge those chads.

Potholes?  Sneaks out at night with a trowel and digs holes in the street to
add to her asphalt collection.

Violence on TV?  She brings in extra money working as Lucy Lawless's stunt
double.

Too many mosquitoes?  She doesn't swat.

Alligators in the sewers?  She flushes tiny ones.  But it is OK because the
Met Council runs the sewer plant and has to recruit new employees to replace
the ones that are eaten.

Hard unpopped kernels in your popcorn?  Is a close personal friend of
Orville Redenbacher's evil twin the Colonial.  (OK, that one is just a bad
pun and not really true.)

The bad lyrics to "M-m-m-m-my Sharona?"  She wrote those.

Boring Playboy?  Her tell-all interview lasted two paragraphs.   One of the
paragraphs was about growing up in St Paul.

I hope this clears things up so everyone on this list can now be "in the
know" about the truth about Sharon Sayles Belton.

Carol Becker
Longfellow

(Who is waiting for the next great "truth about the Mayor" to come out)

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