I used to be opposed to the stadium, but I'm rethinking my position.
I've been criticized as being too "ideologically pure" for insisting
that public officials stand up for the all the things we hold in common
against the onslaught of private interests. Everywhere, it seemed to me
the common interest was being sacrificed....public schools, the
environment, mass transit, affordable, housing, , parks... (Fort
Snelling!), a livable city..while public officials proposed spending
billions on infrastructure for private cars and stadiums for
billionaires....but, after reading Joe Soucherey's column I realized I
was wrong....very wrong.
It wasn't the "Tragedy of the Commons", the "unrelenting working of
things" that I imagined it to be .....but the much heralded "Progress"
that the proponents of "privatization" and the folks who build
roads,parking ramps and stadiums rightly claim it to be....
Then, I started thinking....
If one or two stadiums are good for the city's economy, why not a
BUNCH of stadiums? There are a lot of popular sports besides baseball
and football...there's indoor soccer, curling, boxing, tennis,
bull-fighting, cricket, jai alai and badminton. But then there's the
problem of where to site all those stadiums.....
Why don't we "de-water" the Chain of Lakes? The dry lake beds would
provide ample room for stadiums and lots of parking spaces.
The Lakes are an outdated 19th Century idea of recreation. People
swim in them, fish in them, sail on them, walk around them....activities
that generate little or no economic value that can be taxed or profited
from....and lakes cost a lot to maintain....think of all those
lifeguards....
What do you think visitors to Minneapolis would prefer to see...an
exciting selection of sports venues with lots of convenient parking or a
bunch of wet lakes with slimy fish in them?
Of course, the "Chain of Stadiums" will come with a hefty price
tag...I suggest we finance the building of the stadiums with the
proceeds of city-run casinos that we'll build in every neighborhood
park.
Now, a lot of sentimental types will start crying about aesthetics
and the environment and nature and community.....Hey! you can't balance
the books with that stuff...and it's not like Minnesota has a shortage
of lakes...
So let's roll up our sleeves, pump dry those lakes and make Minneapolis
"The City of Stadiums"...or is it Stadii....?
I'll save my plan for solving traffic congestion by paving over the
Mississippi for another post.
Ken "Knicker-twister" Avidor
Kingfield
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