Now I don't care to do Mr.Porter's inventory for him; He's been doing a pretty good job of it himself. Problem is, he hasn't been listening to his own admission of failure as an addict. Yep, I said addict- only an addict could have been as unsuccessful in the criminal profession as Mr. Porter. Six felony drug convictions in his barely 7 years as an adult. If the drug trade was so lucrative Mr. Porter and his homies should have bought up the entire block by now and have a fleet of luxury cars out front. I doubt that Mr. Porter's even named on the lease and the lowly postal worker down the block could buy any car those homies have, cash money. Mr. Porter and his homies are such dumb criminals that they let a late model Peterbilt and grain trailer worth at least twenty thou chopped go- all they got was maybe 20 bucks, net proceeds from a rock or two, and maybe a dime bag.
In the past week Mr. Porter has scored his 15 minutes of (in)famy and then some with serial stupidity that has eclipsed even his entire failed criminal career. A short surf of the internet's numerous S&M sites would have come up with fantasies far more creative and believable than Mr. Porter's. Having failed as a fiction author in even the undemanding S&M realm, Mr. Porter proceeded to blow it as an actor too, being quite unable to stay in character. In his final performance at friday's media event he broke down, whatever shred of credibility he may have had lost.
"Asked that a power greater than us restore us to sanity"
It's sunday morning. Minneapolis has many fine preachers, and I'm sure that any of them would be willing to hear Mr. Porter's confession and provide spiritual guidance. That done, Mr. Porter needs to turn himself in; his confession of making false charges against an officer should be more than enough probable cause to hold him in protective custody. Now, I know some of our do-gooders will insist on Mr. Porter's innocence and demand his "freedom". "Freedom" is one of the most cruel and usual punishments meted to gangbangers- they will kill themselves if the other gangbangers don't beat them too it. Mr. Porter won't last a year on the street, but could come out of prison by age 35 drug free with half his life left.
I'm sure the enablers in our once fair city can find some other criminals to feel sorry for...
Hanging on in Hawthorne,
Dyna Sluyter
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