I want to tell you about a very special woman. She's the mother of the young man who was shot Friday night. I met her Friday night as she was waiting with her family to find out if it was her son who was killed. His car was in the parking lot, and she did not see him among those who got on the police bus. She stood and waited for three hours at the corner with her family and best friend. Finally, the police told her to go home and they would contact her. They arrived shortly after she got home to tell her that it was indeed her son who was killed.
She had given me her address, and I visited with her for an hour yesterday. In the midst of her grief, she showed me pictures of this young man who looked full of life. The pictures I saw, which were taken just a day or two earlier, were very different from the picture in the paper. In these pictures, he was smiling and his eyes looked bright and filled with hope. His mother told me that he was determined to get his life right this time. During his four days out of prison, he had not left the house until old friends persuaded him to go to dinner at the place where he was killed. She said he had a list on the wall in his room of all the things he had to do to get it right, and he was full of hope and positive energy and determined to build a new life.
His mother has lived in the neighborhood for 30 years. She talked about what it was like living in a neighborhood where many of the neighbors watched out for each others' children, where you didn't hesitate to discipline a neighbor's child, where your child knew that she better 'fess up to a misdeed before the neighbors told you what happened. She talked about her eight children growing up here and what it was like to have their friends in. She said, "You know, it doesn't really take much more to feed 16 than it does to feed 8." She told me that many of her children's friends still refer to her as "Mom," and indeed when some came to offer their condolences while I was there, they did. Hers was a place of safety for neighborhood children. And she showered them with love and she did her best to instill the rules that all children need, rules of respect for others and for themselves. I saw that respect over and over yesterday in the way her family members treated each other.
She also talked about some neighbors who wouldn't talk to her because she was African-American, neighbors who raised a fuss and cursed at her kids because one slipped off the sidewalk around the side of the house and stepped on the neighbor's yard. Yet this woman isn't angry. She told me that in the time it takes for her to be angry, she could find a solution. Truly, this is a wise woman, a kind and loving mother who did all that she could to raise her children the right way and who feels a deep commitment to her community.
What took me totally by surprise was what she said when I was getting ready to leave. She told me that she doesn't have a lot of time because she spends about ten hours a day commuting and working. She gets home late in the evening. But, she asked, would I please find something on weekends that she could do or become involved in to help the community. She said, "That's my time for running errands and such, but I want to do something for this community."
I've found a new friend in my community, someone who is awesome in her courage and commitment. And I can't help asking the question: If this woman, in the midst of her grief, can still want to give back to her community, aren't there others out there who can give just a little more of yourself, of your time, of your resources, to help those in need. You see, what is most needed in North Minneapolis is a whole lot of caring and a strong willingness to help people lift themselves up out of poverty and out of crime. There are some who don't want to change, but there are ten times more who would change in a heartbeat if they had any hope of a different life. They need opportunities, they need love and they need to be seen for their strengths and helped to capitalize on them. This is something all of us can help to create.
Dottie Titus Jordan
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