Assalam u alaikum warahmatullah wabarakatuhu,
Ramadan is the best time to ask forgiveness not only from Allah but also from
those we hurt, either intended or not. If ever, am taking this chance to
apologize. Hope we get the maximum benefits in the remaining days specially the
jackpot blessing of the lailatul qadr.
Sorry for those been asking personal info and were wondering why and how my
emails are landing on their mailboxes. Time limit and number of requests made
it difficult so here i am firing a long gun shot on air hoping to hit only
those concerns. Bystanders watch out for stray bullets (delete or moderators
pls exercise police power for inappropritate postings). Some may have similar
problem, hopefully this will help clear the issue.
A.) E-GROUP EMAILING
Do I know you? No (except my friends)
Then why am sending you email? ok, here how:
1. I normally send email directly to egroup as shown below. If you happened
to be member of the same egroup, you will receive my email. Unless you do
something, emails heading on to your mailbox is out of my control because am
not moderator of any of my egroups. Notice that (( islam-beauty...)) means u
received it from group written inside that (( )).
What you can do? either unsubscribe to the egroup or click SPAM as u can see
above or the JUNK caption if ur using hotmail.
or change the mode of membership. Click CHANGE SETTINGS VIA THE WEB found at
the end of each egroup emails. You can check the NO EMAIL DELIVERY (web only)
options or the DAILY DIGEST so your mail box wont be clogged of individual
emails.
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2. I also email using Outlook BCC option and addressing it to myself. Note
that <FROM and TO - both Maryam>. It hides and protects our friends email
identity and also easier. Being always busy, it works best clicking one list
instead of clicking 50 individual emails, though cant prevent lapses too like
the spelling below (pregnat = pregnant) no time for grammar and spell check ,
sorry. Minds travels faster than hands, typo errors are normal in the net.
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3. To send email using Blank Carbon Copy option:
4. To create, 50 individual emails can be accomodated in one list. In case of
egroups, only 10 email ads. Warning!!! If u mix your kids or loved ones email
with those not so close friends in same group, there is danger of MISCONCEPTION
on your email content. Example: 'Honey safely arrived in my destination, here
are my house address, phone numbers etc....I miss you'.....Most probably those
on the same list who are not familiar in reading captions or logically reading
between lines would think you are flirting with him/her .
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Question: Where you getting your email ideas and why the need for several
e-groups?
Most of us have that personal longing in discovering life meanings, as way of
achieving that purpose of worshiping God. I consider my netself as one of the
nodes intereconnecting our Ummah network. I process information by filtering
emails flowing on my circuit: ignoring unuseful ones or purging those i
believed infected by Satan virus, and let good informations pass through.
Reading carefully, prioritizing, and choosing the best among tons of info
requires full time job but it becomes easier when through experience we
'tagged' good sources. For example, I dont need to spend much time checking
bro. Abdul qader (saudi) emails because I trust he only forward good islamic
emails. On political issues, bro Jawed (Dubai) is doing a fine processing
though i dont share his views on some islamic issues. I learn historical islam
from bro farrukh (London) and shares most of his islamic views like, by
analogy, we both want that finish product kind of 'bread' our prophet Muhammad
(saw) left us, not the kind of bread that was transformed into 'sandwich'.
This could initially appear tasty but no thanks, i dont want anything added to
that kind of bread which to me has the perfect taste. Just wondering, was that
'curtains' dividing males and females used during the time of our prophet (saw)?
Net friends were the sources of my email ideas. Virtual world doesnt
discriminate on age as long as you are learning, it matter less if the one
sitting on the other side of the computer is a genius 15 years old or a 75
years old grand mother /father in a Retirement Institution. The time element of
years is normally used in computing age, and space used to be limited by
boundaries. Now, connecting ideas instanteously piercing borders, and computing
virtual person age not based on years but based on stock of knowledge prove the
theory of the annhiliation of time and shrinking of space in the globalization.
My field of study requires me to be always updated on social issues. I dream of
a global social policy that can stop wars and make this earth a beautiful
comfortable departure area before we are called on our final flight (death). As
transients, we are all booked on a one way ticket to our final destination.
B. Up close and Personal
If u reach this far reading, then most probably you are one of those asking
personal info. This is long, hopefully to answer all ur email questions as much
as possible.
I used to note my interests in the distance past. Some of my favorites then
were: movie:'SPLASH', actress 'Darryl Hannah', song: 'It might be you',
foods: anything McDo (xcpt pork), Place wishing to visit: Venice. Not to
forget I was then trying to keep younger looking and sexier as if my look and
not my brain and TAQWA defines my status. Alhamdulillah that trash taste now
thrown to where it belong: 'Trash Can'.
Name:
Maryam Amen
Age:
42
Profession/degree
Motherhood, Cert. Public Accountant, Lawyer, Master of Social Policy
Country
Philippines
Best Achievement
MashaAllah, my 4 Children...........alhamdulillah
Frustration
Was targeting having dozen of kids
Status
Divorce
Favorite Movies
Cheaper by a dozen, Lion King, Pocahontas, Mulan
Favorite places
Makkah and Madina
F00ds/Drinks
Honey, Dates, water, milk
Dream Job
Big boss of the OIC (coz mothers are always needed when boys cant achieve
anything and refusing to grow up).
Plan for OIC
Build a beautiful main office at Madina hoping to get the same magical
spell, barakah or % of almighty blessings when the Ummah was first created.
Personal Success Indicator
Success of my children. inshaAllah, early marriages and early babies all
for islamic livings.
Ambitions
To be admitted to Jannah (heaven/paradise)
vision
Muslim women becoming soldiers
a.) in the battle of winning mind and hearts <media front> by becoming
role model of a true Muslimah and sharing knowledge to prove Islam is for
Peace.
b.) battle to capture strategic areas of tough battle grounds. Women can
conquer Europe faster and easier than Men. Ever heard of Eurabia or
Londonistan? Why women considered SHAHID or martyr when they die on this
battle ground if its just a minor battle <umm..preferably becoming mother if
possible of 12 kids or more>.
mission
Striving to have power and resources to have the capacity to share
(zakat, sadqa).
While true that what we can get (rizki) for our own in this life is
limited, infact only that piece of white cloth will come with us, I believe
what we can give is infinite.
Top 5 purposes of life aside from worshiping Allah and dutiful to parents
1. Motherhood
2. Motherhoods
3. Motherhood
4. Well, ok..needs a husband to have babies
5. Useful member of the global village
Love
Lihubbullah. Love for the sake of Allah. The strongest tie for a united
couple and should also be the only reason for breaking that union in special
cases. We claim right from each other through that link.
Hates
1.. War freaks who are killing civilians for ethnocentrism
2. Men who prevent women from seeking knowledge for fear they will learn
to have INFORMED or educated CHOICES. Greedy Men who think women were created
only to serve them. Ignorance of correct islamic ways cant save these women
from hell who will be judged separately. These men wont jump on hell with, nor
can they ransom them. Wife of Prophet Lut (bad wife) and the Pharaoh (good
wife) earned their own.
Advocacy
Peace and Multicultural Diversity. To each its own, no attacking,
stigmatizing, terrorizing Others. The contest is the race for GOODNESS like the
Doctor's without Frontier of France and other Humanitarian service providers.
Let God judge who got the best culture in the day of reckoning.
Countries' Human Dev Indicators (HDI)
How countries are adapting to peaceful co-existence with minorities, or
managing cultural diversities.
Question # 1. Divorce?
Did i hear: "Que barbaridad?"..... Yes, am a muslim and was granted privilige
by Islam as long as the requirements are met. Alhamdulillah Islam was
revolutionary on this. Christians were supposed to be tied on a hopeless,
loveless, cage or hell marriage because bible says that 'whatever united by God
should not be separated by man' as if the Priest who wed them is god. And this
have crept into most of our cultures however circumvented in so many ways.
Examples are husband and wife appeared to be married yet both are having extra
affairs, or both are having different partners even if their marriage still
exist. Or the most convenient way is NOT GETTING married at all yet living
together.
Quran verses relating to divorce issues are not dead letters, astagfirullah,
here are some:
2:227 But if their intention is firm for divorce, God heareth and knoweth all
things.
228-232, 236-237,241, 33:4, 33:49, 58:2-3, 65:1, 66:5
Hadith:
Sahih al-Bukhari, Vol 7, Hadith No. 197)
The wife of Thabit came to the prophet (saw) and said, ' O Allah's messenger, I
do not blame Thabit for defects in his character or his religion, but I, being
a Muslim, dislike to behave in an un-islamic manner (if i remain with him).' On
that our prophet asked, "will you give back the garden which your husband has
given you (as mahr)? she said 'Yes'. Then the Prophet said to Thabit, "O
Thabit accept your garden, and divorce her once.
We also read the hadith how our prophet offered choices to ALL his wives and
went on solitude for one month. One reason could be to give time to his wives
to reflect on his offer but of course no takers. They are sure of Paradise if
they remain married to him. It is an authentic hadith as it was the moment
correct calculation of what constitutes a month was learned.
...And out of all his-wives he asked me first, and I chose him.' Then he gave
option to his other wives and they said what 'Aisha had said . " ...
SAHIH BUKHARI, BOOK 62: Wedlock, Marriage (Nikaah) Volume 7, Book 62, Number 119
O Prophet! Say to thy wives: "If it be that ye desire the life of this World,
and its glitter,- then come! I will provide for your enjoyment and set you free
in a handsome manner.But if ye seek God and His Apostle, and the Home of the
Hereafter, verily God has prepared for the well-doers amongst you a great
reward Quran 33:28-29).
No compulsion even in religion so how could someone be forced to stay on
something that turned out to be hell. Divorce happens even during the times of
the Companions as when Zaid divorced Zainab. A hadith saying that 'divorce is
the most hated halal' was found to be DAIF or have weak narration. We have to
be careful of the corruption of hadith because there is no DIVINE promise to
protect it against corruption just like the bible. The male dominated society
is a great factor in the POWER/KNOWLEDGE hadith transmission.
Until today we read emails circulating attributing that words to Allah. The
quran said: do not make haram anything made halal nor make halal anything made
haram but this male theory of keeping women inside the marriage even if she
wanted to go still persists as if questioning the WISDOM behind allowing it.
Unfortunately women also used this notion of UNBREAKABLE union to control and
tie their husbands who were living under life of depression inside a hell
marriage.
For the sake of the children? Trust Allah in the wisdom of the Quran and
InshaAllah the kids will be guided on the right path. Trusting Allah however is
coming to HIM on clean hands:
1, DIVORCING FOR REAL GOOD AND VALID GROUNDS (e.g. it will result to becoming
better muslim).
2. Not to teach children to hate your ex or their relatives. What was broken
was the marriage link only and not the blood link of your kids.
We dont need to wash our dirty laundry in public just to prove our reason is
valid. Only Allah we must satisfy coz He knows best.
Question #2 Why online if not accepting chat requests?
Some get my email and add in their yahoo buddy lists. I come online coz I am
currently away from my children. My kids are on the list with SMS status and
we communicate through their mobile phones. Officemates, real friends and
relatives do come sometimes to share news, conveniently while am also doing
research online.
3. Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest
Always ignoring chat requests but sometimes when they start with
'salamualaikum' i feel guilty not to return so some initial conversation
happens.......and then, they start writing urdu, persian, african, arabic, etc
coz they say my name sound Pakistani, Iranian, African, Arab etc.....why cant
any Muslim in the world use the name Maryam or Amen?
Samples of the English ones: <inside this bracket my reaction>
Chatter 1: Am bor here pls chat me <..ummm ds kid needs baby sitter, sorry not
available...ignore>
Chatter 2: ASL ..Age, Sex, Location <..sory busy, kindly read my profile>
Chatter 2: I want you tell me coz profiles are lies <..so he think am a lier
at d very start so wat cud change that? why he want to waste both our time wen
no trust anymore...ignore>
Chatter 3: How old are u? <..well nice opportunity to scare him off, ..am 42>
Chatter 3 reaction: Oh comeon u lie so u wont chat to me, i know ur young
<..poor kid.....y wud i lie for? who is he for me to change who really i am? I
got my share of life when in 20s, 30s so why not proud of my 40s so when i
reach 50s i wont need to look back and say wish i was 40... ignore ..>
Chatter 4: Hi I want to move out of this country, I know ur a lawyer can you
get me out of her? i will marry you <..I will help u if i can but no, thanks
its pro bono, dont mention it....>
Chatter 5: Hi I read ur profile, i know ur older than my mum but dont worry i
like old women, come to chat now, dont be shy its ok if ur old <....wht this
idiot think?>
Chatter 6: i sent u msgs many time and u never reply <probbly been sending
chat msgs for d 10yrs of my net life...ok, what you wanna chat abt.>
Chatter 6 reaction: good u reply at last...u got bad manner...u r divorce and u
never learn lesson, u shud be nice to me now <..huh? he wasted much of his time
just to lecture and judge me on something he dont have anyway of knowing the
REASONS for my life decision. the only thing he know is he read on profile that
am divorced and expecting me to be like a tamed rabbit coz divorce shud hv
taught me lesson? of what?, what does he know abt my life and d situation?>
Chatter 7: Hi am owner of website arranging temporary marriages for divorcees,
visit and register to join I will find you a husband <..>education taught me to
be strong and not to be desperate for Man support. MashaAllah, as long as I
have my children, i feel complete already, Alhamdulillah. But IF ever there is
second chance for marriage as when Allah willed or in my Qadar, I pray it will
only be for two reasons, InshaAllah: 1. Making me closer to Allah like being
instrumental for change from cultural into islamic ways in the society or
proving divorce on VALID reasons are not social evil and 2. For having more
dream babies....
I dont judge Shia women who go for Mut'a probably for several reasons only them
and Allah know, but I share Sunni's feeling that it is not fair for women. Most
Mut'a arrangements agree on not having babies and this is killing the best part
and best purpose of women, reducing their role in the society to a mere sex
provider or glorified servant disguised as wife. Every woman dreams of having
someone with her when she grow old practicing good deeds together while waiting
for death yet women on frequent Mut'a arragements probably would end up alone,
deserted by any man and bereft of love. Statistics show muslim countries
allowing the practice of Mut'a marriage have very low fertility rate almost
similar with the Western Societies falling below replacement rates (at least 2
babies replacing the mother and father).
Whew!!!! kilometric......poured everything before hybernating till..........
May Allah forgives mistakes if ever, committed in this email, ameen.
Maassalama,
Maryam
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He that does good for good's sake seeks neither paradise nor reward, but he is
sure of both in the end.
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