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Even after all these years, you still worry about your kids. Don't feel
alone! Enjoy...

Ronni


> Is there a magic cutoff period when offspring become accountable for
their own actions? Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become
detached spectators in the lives of their children and shrug, "It's
their life," and feel nothing?

> >When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for
doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head. I asked, "When do you
stop worrying?"  The nurse said, "When they get out of the accident
stage." My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

> >When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and

> heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,
and was headed for a career making license plates.  As if to read my
mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and
then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them."   My mother just smiled
faintly and said nothing.

> >When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to
ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open.  A friend said,
> "They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry in a few years, you
can stop worrying. They'll be adults."  My mother just smiled faintly
and said  nothing.

> >By the time I was 50, I was sick & tired of being  vulnerable.  I was
still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle--there was
nothing I could do about it.  My mother just smiled faintly and said
nothing.

> >I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their
> frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments. My friends said
that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own
life. I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's wan
smile and her occasional, "You look pale.  Are you all right?  Call me
the minute you get home.  Are you depressed about something?"

> >Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry? Is
concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of
human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is
it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

> >One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me,
"Where were you?  I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I
was worried."

> >I smiled a wan smile. The torch has been passed.

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