[Native_American] Just a Thought or 2

[Wild Horse]

============================================================ Got a favorite book? How about a favorite author? Come share the best sites about them at Zeal...the Web directory that's yours for the making. http://click.topica.com/caaaiRnb1ddNBb2HgmNb/LookSmart ============================================================ United Native American (UNA), is proud to announce that it has bought the state of California from the whites, and is throwing it open to Indian settlement.   United Native America bought California from three winos found wandering in San Francisco. UNA decided the winos were the spokesmen for the white people of Cal. these winos promptly signed the treaty, which was written in Sioux, and sold Cal. for three bottles of wine, one bottle of gin, and four cases of beer.   Lehman L. Brightman, the commissioner of Caucasian Affairs, has announced the following new policies: the Indians hereby give the whites four large reservations of ten acres each at the following locations:Death Valley, The Utah Salt flats, The Badlands of South Dakota and the Yukon in Alaska. These reservations shall belong to the whites "for as long as the sun shines, and the grass grows" (or until the Indians want it back).   All land of the rez. of course, will be held in trust for the whites by the Bureau of Caucasian Affairs, and any white who wants to use the land in any way, must secure permission from commissioner Brightman.   Of course, whites will be allowed to sell trades, and handicrafts at stands by the highway.   Each white will be provided annually with one blanket, one pair of tennis shoes, a supply of Spam, and a copy of: The life of Crazy Horse.   If you are competent enough, you will be able to be a BCA rez. superintendent. Applicants must have less than one year of education, must not speak English, must have an authoritarian personality, proof of dishonesty, and a certificate of incompetence. No whites need apply.   Commissioner Brightman also announced the founding of four boarding schools, to which white youngsters will be sent at the age of six years. "We want to take those kids far away from the backward culture of their parents" he said. The schools will be located on Alcatraz Island, The Florida Everglades, Point Barrow Alaska and Hong Kong.   All courses will be taught in Indian languages, and there will be demerits for anyone caught speaking English. All students arriving at the school, will immediately be given IQ tests,to determine their understanding of Indian language, and hunting skills.   Hospitals will be established for the rez. as follows: white at Death Valley may go to the Bangor, Maine Hos., those at the Utah Salt Flats may go to the Juneau Alaska Hos., those at the Yukon may go to the Miami Beach Hos., and those ay the Badlands may go to the Hos. in Honolulu, Hawaii.   Each hos. will have a staff of two part time doctors, and a part time chiropractor, who have all passed first aid tests, and each hos. will be equipped whit a scalpel, a jack knife, a saw, a modern tourniquet, and a large bottle of aspirin.   In honor of the whites, many cities, street cars, and products will be given traditional white names. One famous Indian movie director has even announced that in his upcoming film, Custer's Last Stand, he will use many actual whites to play the parts of soldiers, speaking real English, although, of course, the part of Custer, will be played by noted Indian actor  Jay Silverheels. Certain barbaric white customs will, of course, not be allowed.   Whites will not be allowed to practice their heathen religions, and will be required to attend Indian ceremonies. Missionaries will be sent from each tribe, to convent the whites on the rez. White churches will either be made into amusement parks, or museums, or will be torn down, and the bricks and ornaments sold as souvenirs and curiosities. (written by unknown, "but funny one," author)   Heya everyone and all! I got this from another community and ask them if  I could share it and they say"of course", so this is a story with little ironic sense in it,must say I like it! ============================================================ Send the World's most popular eCards: birthdays, holidays, and more. Send as many eCards as you want all YEAR long. Click here to join Blue Mountain Unlimited! http://click.topica.com/caaaiMab1ddNBb2HgmNg/BlueMountain ============================================================ Visit and show your support for the Grass Roots Oyate http://members.tripod.com/GrassRootsOyate Clemency for Leonard Peltier. Sign the Petition. http://petitiononline.com/Release/petition.html ==^================================================================ This email was sent to: archive@jab.org EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?b1ddNB.b2HgmN Or send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^================================================================