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l Thank You... Enjoyed everyone of them...
ROFLMBO..Bill Taylor GG
----- Original Message -----
Sent: Friday, October 18, 2002 11:42
PM
Subject: [Native_American] more indin
humor..lol!
You don't know how many
drummers it takes to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to change the
lightbulb, and four to sing the lightbulb
changing
song.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Bar
Room Psychology....
A very shy Hunkpapa guy goes into the Torch Club
and sees a beautiful
Chippewa woman sitting at the bar.
After an
hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her
and asks,
"Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?"
She responds by
yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep
with you
tonight!"
Everyone in the bar is now staring at them.
Naturally
the Hunkpapa is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and
he slinks back
to his table. After a few minutes, the Chippewa woman
walks over to him
and apologizes.
She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed
you. You see,
I'm a Dartmouth student in Psychology and I'm studying how
people
respond to embarrassing situations."
To which the Hunkpapa
man responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do
you mean $20 and a block
of yellow
cheese!"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++=
You
could be Indian if.......
You could be Indian if you attend a General
Custer memorial dinner,
and you wear an Arrow shirt
You could be
Indian if someone at a picnic yells "Hey, you with the
blanket, over here"
and you think it's an invitation for romance
You could be Indian if
your dancing to "Running Bear" at your local
bar and it begins to Rain
You could be Indian if you put a "Free Peltier" sticker on your
truck, and the FBI wiretaps your house
You could be Indian if you
get into a verbal fight with the waiter at
your local Mexican restaurant
over----Sopapilla, or is it Fry Bread?
You could be Indian if someone
inadvertently points out directions
with his lips and you know exactly
where he is talking about.
You could be Indian if some one asks you
your stance on immigration,
and you just laugh
You could be Indian
if during a night out on the town, you announce
you're going home and then
you drive over five hours to get there.
You could be Indian if you
should turn your head while all about you
are turning theirs and blaming
it on you
You could be Indian if you use commodity can labels for your
art
collage project
You could be Indian if when you get hit in the
head with an old piece
of frybread you see bluebirds
You could be
an Indian if all the people in the community or town you
live in are your
cousins! (cousin-brother/cousin-sister)
You could be Indian if your
car starts with a screwdriver
You could be Indian if you don't
understand the purpose for storage
lockers or their high rental costs,
Why, the cars parked in your
front yard store just as much stuff, plus
it's free
You could be Indian if your head automatically turns at the
sound
of "shhhhhhhht"
You could be Indian if as a young child,
learning your ABC's was hard
because you wondered what the joke was every
time you heard "A"
(AAAYE)
You could be Indian if in your everyday
life you unintentionally seem
to be breaking taboos
You could be
Indian if you use the pick up line "...SAY, THOSE ARE
SOME SLICK
WRANGLERS, PERHAPS I COULD TALK YOU OUT OF THEM..."
You could be
Indian if you use the pick up line "...HEY, DIDN'T
WE GO
TO DIFFERENT
BOARDING SCHOOLS TOGETHER"
You could be Indian if you wake up after
your 18th birthday with a
wrecked truck, a hickey and bus ticket to
Haskell
You could be Indian if your relative gets a nice jacket that
you wish
you had so say, "Geez Hey, I REEEAAALLLY like that Jacket." (and
he
gives it to you)
You could be Indian if you have had a dog
named Bear
You could be Indian if your travel luggage is designer
black Hefty
Cinch Sacks!
You could be Indian if you think that the
Basic Food Groups are Spam,
commodity cheese, frybread, and Pepsi
You could be Indian if your dance outfit is in a suitcase held
together by duct tape and pow-wow bumper stickers
You could be
Indian if you drive over 25mph and the paint peels off
your rez truck. You
tell your friends that you are letting Mother
Nature sand it for you
before you get a paint job
You could be Indian and a Pow Wow drum lead
singer if your vocal
nodules exceed the size of your tonsils
You
could be Indian if the first day at your new public school you're
waiting
for circle and the rest of the class stands for the pledge of
allegiance,
and as you look around the room you're the only one who
doesn't know the
words
You could be Indian if your new History teacher is talking about
a
completely different Columbus then the one your grandmother told you
about
You could be an Indian if you tell an ignorant individual
(dictionary
definition) that you are Native American and he/she asks if
you live
in a tipi.
You could be an Indian if you walk down the
hall of a big corporation
and someone asks you if you could mop up the
mess that they made and
you do it with a smile, but don't tell them your
their new boss.
You could be an Indian if you walk into a pub in Texas
and strike up
a conversation with a female patron and find yourself
surrounded by
individuals concerned for the safety of the female patron.
You could be an Indian, and probably a breed, if you could play
cowboys and Indians all by yourself as a kid.
You could be Indian
if someone asks you for directions and you put
aside you Commod grilled
cheese sandwich and point the way with your
lips.
You could be
Indian if you see a rattlesnake after a ground squirrel
and the first
thing you think is "appetizer and main course".
You could be Indian if
you can never get a date with that cute rez
girl you like, but you can't
keep the "New-Agers" off ya
You could be Indian if you take your car
to Midas for a new muffler
and they tell you first you need a new pipe to
run from the engine to
it
You could be Indian if someone asks you
what you think the meaning of
life is, and you (jokingly) say "Frybread"
You could be Indian if drunken guys at a party see your long hair and
caress your arm as you go by until they also see your irritated face
You could be Indian if every time you saw people doing the Tomahawk
chop, you wish you had one
You could be Indian if every time the
topic of gambling comes up,
someone always asks what you think of casinos
on rez's
You could be Indian if you have more aunts and uncles than
your
grandparents had children.
You could be Indian if you DIDN'T
grow up on the rez, and you've been
called "apple" for it
You
could be Indian if all your heroes have always killed cowboys
You
could be Indian if a white person introduces themselves by saying
their a
Cherokee princess.
You could be Indian if you've ever 49'd, 69'd, then
86'd outta there.
You could be Indian if at the local Indian bar
you've referred to as
bait or an appetizer by the healthier Indian woman.
You could be Indian if you've often referred to yourself as "FLABBIO,
the great Indian lover."
You could be an Indian at college if you
refuse to date anyone who
isn't a skin and you haven't a date for months
You could be an Indian if your car has almost as much personality as
you do
You could be Indian if your car's three best friends are
Duct Tape,
Baling Wire, and WD40.
You could be Indian if you can
get at least 1500 miles out of a spare
donut tire
You could be
Indian if you get a sense of nostalgia when you hear the
song "Indian Car"
You could be Indian if the first thing that comes to your mind when
you hear the word "commodity" is CHEESE!
You could be Indian if
when you first meet your sweetheart you wonder
if he/she knows how to cook
frybread.
You could be Indian if as you watch an old western with some
friends,
you are the only one yelling, "Go Cheyenne"
You could be
Indian if a photographer is taking a family picture, and
he says "CHEESE",
and everyone in hearing distance lines up.
You could be Indian if you
read more in the bathroom than anywhere
else.
You could be Indian
if you had a 3 family garage sale every other
Saturday.
You could
be Indian if when you are away at college and you write to
your dad for
money and it goes like this: Dear dad no mun, no fun.
your son and he
replies: Dear son, Too bad, so sad. Your dad.
******************************************************************************
Kris
"All things share the same breath..the
beast, the tree, the man; the air shares its spirit with all the life it
supports."
Chief Seattle Visit and show your support for the Grass Roots Oyate
http://members.tripod.com/GrassRootsOyate
Clemency for Leonard Peltier. Sign the Petition.
http://petitiononline.com/Release/petition.html
Visit and show your support for the Grass Roots Oyate
http://members.tripod.com/GrassRootsOyate
Clemency for Leonard Peltier. Sign the Petition.
http://petitiononline.com/Release/petition.html
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