You don't know how many drummers it takes to screw in a lightbulb? Five. One to change the lightbulb, and four to sing the lightbulb changing song. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Bar Room Psychology.... A very shy Hunkpapa guy goes into the Torch Club and sees a beautiful Chippewa woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally the Hunkpapa is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the Chippewa woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a Dartmouth student in Psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which the Hunkpapa man responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $20 and a block of yellow cheese!" ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++= You could be Indian if....... You could be Indian if you attend a General Custer memorial dinner, and you wear an Arrow shirt You could be Indian if someone at a picnic yells "Hey, you with the blanket, over here" and you think it's an invitation for romance You could be Indian if your dancing to "Running Bear" at your local bar and it begins to Rain You could be Indian if you put a "Free Peltier" sticker on your truck, and the FBI wiretaps your house You could be Indian if you get into a verbal fight with the waiter at your local Mexican restaurant over----Sopapilla, or is it Fry Bread? You could be Indian if someone inadvertently points out directions with his lips and you know exactly where he is talking about. You could be Indian if some one asks you your stance on immigration, and you just laugh You could be Indian if during a night out on the town, you announce you're going home and then you drive over five hours to get there. You could be Indian if you should turn your head while all about you are turning theirs and blaming it on you You could be Indian if you use commodity can labels for your art collage project You could be Indian if when you get hit in the head with an old piece of frybread you see bluebirds You could be an Indian if all the people in the community or town you live in are your cousins! (cousin-brother/cousin-sister) You could be Indian if your car starts with a screwdriver You could be Indian if you don't understand the purpose for storage lockers or their high rental costs, Why, the cars parked in your front yard store just as much stuff, plus it's free You could be Indian if your head automatically turns at the sound of "shhhhhhhht" You could be Indian if as a young child, learning your ABC's was hard because you wondered what the joke was every time you heard "A" (AAAYE) You could be Indian if in your everyday life you unintentionally seem to be breaking taboos You could be Indian if you use the pick up line "...SAY, THOSE ARE SOME SLICK WRANGLERS, PERHAPS I COULD TALK YOU OUT OF THEM..." You could be Indian if you use the pick up line "...HEY, DIDN'T WE GO TO DIFFERENT BOARDING SCHOOLS TOGETHER" You could be Indian if you wake up after your 18th birthday with a wrecked truck, a hickey and bus ticket to Haskell You could be Indian if your relative gets a nice jacket that you wish you had so say, "Geez Hey, I REEEAAALLLY like that Jacket." (and he gives it to you) You could be Indian if you have had a dog named Bear You could be Indian if your travel luggage is designer black Hefty Cinch Sacks! You could be Indian if you think that the Basic Food Groups are Spam, commodity cheese, frybread, and Pepsi You could be Indian if your dance outfit is in a suitcase held together by duct tape and pow-wow bumper stickers You could be Indian if you drive over 25mph and the paint peels off your rez truck. You tell your friends that you are letting Mother Nature sand it for you before you get a paint job You could be Indian and a Pow Wow drum lead singer if your vocal nodules exceed the size of your tonsils You could be Indian if the first day at your new public school you're waiting for circle and the rest of the class stands for the pledge of allegiance, and as you look around the room you're the only one who doesn't know the words You could be Indian if your new History teacher is talking about a completely different Columbus then the one your grandmother told you about You could be an Indian if you tell an ignorant individual (dictionary definition) that you are Native American and he/she asks if you live in a tipi. You could be an Indian if you walk down the hall of a big corporation and someone asks you if you could mop up the mess that they made and you do it with a smile, but don't tell them your their new boss. You could be an Indian if you walk into a pub in Texas and strike up a conversation with a female patron and find yourself surrounded by individuals concerned for the safety of the female patron. You could be an Indian, and probably a breed, if you could play cowboys and Indians all by yourself as a kid. You could be Indian if someone asks you for directions and you put aside you Commod grilled cheese sandwich and point the way with your lips. You could be Indian if you see a rattlesnake after a ground squirrel and the first thing you think is "appetizer and main course". You could be Indian if you can never get a date with that cute rez girl you like, but you can't keep the "New-Agers" off ya You could be Indian if you take your car to Midas for a new muffler and they tell you first you need a new pipe to run from the engine to it You could be Indian if someone asks you what you think the meaning of life is, and you (jokingly) say "Frybread" You could be Indian if drunken guys at a party see your long hair and caress your arm as you go by until they also see your irritated face You could be Indian if every time you saw people doing the Tomahawk chop, you wish you had one You could be Indian if every time the topic of gambling comes up, someone always asks what you think of casinos on rez's You could be Indian if you have more aunts and uncles than your grandparents had children. You could be Indian if you DIDN'T grow up on the rez, and you've been called "apple" for it You could be Indian if all your heroes have always killed cowboys You could be Indian if a white person introduces themselves by saying their a Cherokee princess. You could be Indian if you've ever 49'd, 69'd, then 86'd outta there. You could be Indian if at the local Indian bar you've referred to as bait or an appetizer by the healthier Indian woman. You could be Indian if you've often referred to yourself as "FLABBIO, the great Indian lover." You could be an Indian at college if you refuse to date anyone who isn't a skin and you haven't a date for months You could be an Indian if your car has almost as much personality as you do You could be Indian if your car's three best friends are Duct Tape, Baling Wire, and WD40. You could be Indian if you can get at least 1500 miles out of a spare donut tire You could be Indian if you get a sense of nostalgia when you hear the song "Indian Car" You could be Indian if the first thing that comes to your mind when you hear the word "commodity" is CHEESE! You could be Indian if when you first meet your sweetheart you wonder if he/she knows how to cook frybread. You could be Indian if as you watch an old western with some friends, you are the only one yelling, "Go Cheyenne" You could be Indian if a photographer is taking a family picture, and he says "CHEESE", and everyone in hearing distance lines up. You could be Indian if you read more in the bathroom than anywhere else. You could be Indian if you had a 3 family garage sale every other Saturday. You could be Indian if when you are away at college and you write to your dad for money and it goes like this: Dear dad no mun, no fun. your son and he replies: Dear son, Too bad, so sad. Your dad. ****************************************************************************** Kris "All things share the same breath..the beast, the tree, the man; the air shares its spirit with all the life it supports." Chief Seattle Visit and show your support for the Grass Roots Oyate http://members.tripod.com/GrassRootsOyate Clemency for Leonard Peltier. Sign the Petition. http://petitiononline.com/Release/petition.html ==^^=============================================================== This email was sent to: [email protected] EASY UNSUBSCRIBE click here: http://topica.com/u/?b1ddNB.b2HgmN Or send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] T O P I C A -- Register now to manage your mail! http://www.topica.com/partner/tag02/register ==^^=============================================================== |
- Re: [Native_American] more indin humor..lol! Softbreze45
- Re: [Native_American] more indin humor..lol! BILL TAYLOR GG
