Email for: [EMAIL PROTECTED] Self Help Books Weekly Newsletter - Week of October 27-28, 2004 Publishers: David and Michelle Riklan - http://www.selfgrowth.com
--------------------------------------------------- If you read Self Improvement Books, this free newsletter is for you. Information on new book releases, best sellers, book reviews, excerpts, special promotions, interviews with the authors & more. This is an opt-in, by request only newsletter. Subscriber information is listed at the bottom of this email. --------------------------------------------------- Send all questions to [EMAIL PROTECTED] Phone: (732) 761-9930 In this issue: => Sponsor of the Week => What�s New? Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � October 27-28, 2004 => Self-Improvement Book Store => What Are People Reading? AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help => Book Excerpt: How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life � By Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. => Article Adapted From: Leadership for the Self � Leadership lessons from an ant and an elephant � By Vince Poscente => Book Review: Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved � By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. => How to subscribe and be removed from this newsletter => How to recommend our newsletter to your friends ------------------------------------------------------------ ** SPONSOR of the WEEK ** ------------------------------------------------------------ * Still Hesitant? Afraid? Too scared to step ahead toward your dreams?* Win the Inner Game of Success, and claim your natural spot in the winner's INNER circle! Click here, now, to download "Coach Don" McAvinchey's amazing e-book, at: http://www.profcs.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=105219 ...as those smiles return, guaranteed! You'll be glad you did! Visit http://www.profcs.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=105219 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Self-Help NEW BOOK RELEASES � October 27-28, 2004 ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1) Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved � By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0743483693/selfimprovemeonlA/ 2) Irritable Male Syndrome: Solving Male Depression and Aggression � By Jed Diamond http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1579547982/selfimprovemeonlA/ 3) Things I Want My Daughters to Know: A Small Book About the Big Issues in Life � By Alexandra Stoddard http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=006059487X/selfimprovemeonlA/ 4) Da Vinci Decoded: Discovering the Spiritual Secrets of Leonardo's Seven Principles � By Michael J. Gelb http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0385338619/selfimprovemeonlA/ ------------------------------------------------------------------- *** SELF-IMPROVEMENT BOOK STORE *** ------------------------------------------------------------------- * Think and Grow Rich -by Napoleon Hill * Here are money-making secrets that can change your life. Inspired by Andrew Carnegie's magic formula for success, this book will teach you the secrets that will bring you a fortune. It will show you not only what to do but how to do it. Once you learn and apply the simple, basic techniques revealed here, you will have mastered the secret of true and lasting success. And you may have whatever you want in life. To Purchase this book from Amazon.com, Visit http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0449214923/selfimprovemeonlA/ * Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People -by Stephen R. Covey * The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change was a groundbreaker when it was first published in 1990, and it continues to be a business bestseller with more than 10 million copies sold. Stephen Covey, an internationally respected leadership authority, realizes that true success encompasses a balance of personal and professional effectiveness, so this book is a manual for performing better in both arenas. Visit http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0671708635 Free 21 Day E-Bootcamp Ends Your Money Worries Forever! #1 best-selling author Mike Litman's free 21 day e-bootcamp reveals how to end your money worries forever and become financially secure for life! Click here now: http://www.1automationwiz.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=96606 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ *** AMAZON.com Top 5 BEST SELLERS for Self Help *** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 1) He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys � By Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=068987474X/selfimprovemeon1A/ 2) Sylvia Browne's Lessons For Life: An 8-Week Study Course � By Sylvia Browne http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1401900879/selfimprovemeonlA/ 3) The Better Brain Book: The Best Tools for Improving Memory and Sharpness and for Preventing Aging of the Brain � By David Perlmutter, M.D., and Carol Colman http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=157322278X/selfimprovemeonlA/ 4) Seven Habits Of Highly Effective People � By Stephen R. Covey http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0671708635/selfimprovemeonlA/ 5) The Games Do Count: America's Best and Brightest on the Power of Sports � By Brian Kilmeade http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0060736739/selfimprovemeonlA/ -------------------------------------------- *** BOOK EXCERPT: How Full Is Your Bucket? Positive Strategies for Work and Life � By Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. *** ------------------------------------------- Not surprisingly, workgroups drained by excessive [negativity] aren't only less productive and less profitable, they also have higher turnover, more accidents on the job, and lower customer satisfaction, innovation, and quality scores. And negative employees scare off customers. Think about the last time you called a customer service line and were treated poorly. After this experience, you might have said to yourself, "I am never doing business with that company again." If you were really angry, you might have told others about your experience and recommended that they stop doing business with the company as well. This is the damage one negative employee can inflict on any business. Recently, we investigated the impact that a single employee can have on customers by studying 4,583 call center representatives from a major telecommunications company. We discovered three service representatives who scared off every single customer they spoke with in a given day -- and those customers did not return. . . . The company would have been better off paying those three representatives to stay home. Fortunately, this study also identified seven service reps who retained and engaged every single customer with whom they spoke. Maybe you've been lucky enough to talk with a rep like this -- one who listened to your problem, made sure you understood that you were heard, took care of your issues promptly, and left you feeling like he or she really cared about you as a person. Did you want to tell others about this first-class service? And are you still a customer to this day? The recognition gap Managers, take note: Praise is rare in most workplaces. One poll found that an astounding 65% of Americans reported receiving no recognition for good work in the past year. And we have yet to find anyone who reports suffering from over-recognition. No wonder so many employees are disengaged. Although we need and want recognition and praise, the fact is, we don't get enough -- and organizations suffer because of it. Most of the time, organizations begin formal recognition programs because someone in upper management has decided that monthly or quarterly awards ceremonies will help raise employee morale. Sounds good, right? What happens is the old reliable "Employee of the Month" program. For the first few months, the program might actually work. There are usually at least a couple of people who have been top performers for a long time and deserve more recognition. These stars are appropriately showered with public praise. But after a while, management struggles with the inevitable question: Who should be the next Employee of the Month? Once the executives reach a compromise, a lucky manager must stand in front of the room and say a bunch of nice -- and often insincere -- things about the recipient. The whole exercise ends up feeling like a sham to both the "winner" and the presenter. Eventually, everyone -- regardless of merit -- gets named Employee of the Month. All their smiling photographs appear on a board in the reception area. But the whole thing is gratuitous, and everyone knows it. The one who feels the worst, of course, is the employee who receives this recognition last. Why wouldn't he? Management waited months, or maybe more than a year, to praise his "great work," which probably feels about as good as being picked last for a team in gym class. Of course, some organizations do provide meaningful, deserved, and individualized recognition. Sincere and meaningful [recognition] increases the morale of any organization. Managers and employees who actively spread positive emotions, even in small doses, will see the difference immediately. And creating that difference can be inexpensive -- or even free. All it takes is a little initiative. About the Authors: - Donald O. Clifton, Ph.D. (1924-2003), was cited by the American Psychological Association as the Father of Strengths Psychology and the Grandfather of Positive Psychology. He was a chairman of Gallup, Inc., and he invented the Clifton StrengthsFinder, an assessment that has helped more than 1 million people around the world discover their talents. - Tom Rath is Gallup's Global Practice Leader for Strengths-Based Development. He is coauthor of the #1 New York Times bestseller How Full Is Your Bucket?-- a book that draws on decades of research to explore the differences between leading an enthusiastic life and a miserable one. The list price for this book is $19.95. To purchase it for $13.97 at a 30% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1595620036/selfimprovemeonlA/ -------------------------------------------- *** ARTICLE ADAPTED FROM: The Ant and The Elephant: Leadership for the Self � By Vince Poscente *** -------------------------------------------- Leadership for the Self � Leadership lessons from an ant and an elephant Before anyone can reach his or her full potential as a leader, he must first be a leader to himself. A leader must capitalize on innate talents, challenge the habits that hinder his growth and manage the negative emotions that frequently keep him from realizing his goals. As you know, our minds are separated into two distinct spaces�the conscious and subconscious thought. Our �ant� is the intentional part of the brain�it houses our critical, analytical thoughts. Our �elephant,� however, is the instinctual, impulsive part of the brain�it houses emotions and memories and even guides the body to perform its vital functions. While we tend to know our conscious minds�or ants�rather well, we often overlook the power of our elephantine subconscious minds. Unfortunately, when we do, we squander a wellspring of human potential. Imagine a tiny ant on the back of a massive African elephant. No matter how diligently that ant marches east, if the elephant he sits upon travels in the opposite direction, the ant will end up even farther west than his starting point. Similarly, we will find ourselves receding from our goals if our conscious and subconscious minds are not aligned. What elephant-like aspects of our personalities hold us back from meeting a challenge? How do our emotions get in the way of our ability to act and communicate effectively? What does it truly mean to commit to realizing a goal? A good leader may recognize that he indulges elephant-like habits that keep him shy of his goal�but a great leader does something about it. He confronts the behaviors and routines that keep his subconscious stuck. He works to refashion deep-seated beliefs, attitudes and truths so that they support his conscious efforts. The great leader conquers his hidden fears, antes up and makes an emotional investment in his vision to show others the way to success. On November 12, 1992, Dr. Lee Pulos delivered a speech in the areas of psychology and personal growth. At one point in the speech, he related a statistic based on fascinating scientific research: At birth, humans have approximately 120 billion glial cells, active neurons in the brain. Over time, through a natural process called pruning, unused neurons become dormant. As adults, we each end up with about ten billion active neurons available for conscious and subconscious brain activity. Dr. Pulos revealed that in one second of time, the conscious mind uses about two thousand neurons. In that same second, the subconscious mind uses four billion neurons. This bears repeating: in one second, the subconscious mind uses four billion neurons. This means that every second there are two thousand neurons making conscious decisions and four billion neurons making subconscious decisions. Now, ask yourself: �Who�s in control?� Is it your conscious mind or your subconscious mind? Is it the ant or the elephant making decisions? As a leader, when you give a logical, coherent directive, what part of the brain have you reached? The ant sized conscious mind or the elephant sized subconscious? There are 5Cs for you to get through to the elephantine subconscious and create, long-term, profound impact: 1. Clarity of Vision First, you clarify your vision. After identifying your goal define the core reasons why it was so important to you. Without a clarified vision and an emotional connection to the goal, you will not be able to get the commitment needed to achieve it. ACTION STEP for Clarity of Vision: Emotions are powerful motivators for both you and your teammates. Harness the power of emotions, and the world of leadership is yours. Consider what motivates your teammates as much as you consider what motivates you. You need to use those dreams and desires to inspire yourself and others. 2. Commitment Realized how important your thoughts and actions are to your elephantine subconscious and the subconscious minds of your teammates. Commit to nurturing positive dominant thoughts. Learn how to lead and direct the subconscious through beliefs, attitudes and truths that are in sync with your goal. If you are truly going to lead a proverbial herd of elephants to the goal you have set, get them to envision having this goal. ACTION STEP for Commitment: In a world where we are now surrounded by instant gratification, real, profound change still tends to come slowly. When you are trying to inspire subconscious thought to change, you are correcting a lifetime of behavior. Be patient; stay the course; frustration is natural. If you are committed to the vision, you will achieve it in time. 3. Consistency Use gold dots as a reminder for your goal that has an emotional buzz. Since the mid-eighties, Coca Cola Inc. has had a �gold dot� of sorts. �To put a Coke within reach of every human being on the planet.� This goal has an emotional and crystal clear objective for Coke employees. Gold dots are a reminder for your objective. ACTION STEP for Consistency: Gold dots offer you two reminders: the first is that you will gravitate toward your current dominant thought, and the second is that you will come to believe this thought to be true. These gold dots will keep your dominant thoughts aligned and on target. Repeat these thoughts often enough and you will create a truth. You will paint a reality that will eventually happen. 4. Confidence Negative patterns erode your confidence and that without confidence, you will not be able to stay the course and realize your objective. When you find yourself indulging negative thought patterns, recall that old rule of physics: No two things can occupy the same place at the same time. Clear away the negative ideas in order to nurture the positive ones. ACTION STEP for Confidence: Redirect negative thinking with a positive twist, stopping negative thoughts immediately and replace them with a detailed reminder of your goal. With this technique, you will eventually eliminate suffering from negativity. You will strengthen confidence. The future you seek becomes a reality that just hasn�t happened yet! 5. Control We cannot completely control our environment. But we can control what we bring to our environment. Set routines prior to anything that requires peak performance. ACTION STEP for Control: Leadership for the self has one goal: unite the powerful forces of conscious and subconscious thought to reach peak performance. As leaders, the more we understand how to point the ant and the elephant in the same direction, the better the results we will enjoy. Applying these 5Cs and action steps will result in your ant communicating effectively with the powerful elephant. Alignment of the ant and the elephant is a powerful solution for leadership; not only of others, but leadership of the self. About the Author: Vince Poscente is the author of The Ant and The Elephant: Leadership for the Self. He is a business strategist focusing on aligning peak performers behind a common goal (www.beinvinceable.com). The above article is an adaptation from The Ant and The Elephant, released across the USA October 1st, 2004. The list price for this book is $19.95. To purchase it from Amazon.com, go directly to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=1893430146/selfimprovemeonlA/ -------------------------------------------------- *** BOOK REVIEW: Receiving Love: Transform Your Relationship by Letting Yourself Be Loved � By Harville Hendrix, Ph.D., and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph.D. *** ------------------------------------------------- In an intelligent and insightful volume, Hendrix and Hunt, cocreators of Imago Relationship Therapy and coauthors of Getting the Love You Want, share their solution to a common relationship problem: the difficulty of accepting love, expressed by, for example, criticizing a gift from one's partner or spurning an intimate gesture. The authors, husband and wife, begin by talking painfully about how their own marriage nearly ended because Harville, despite obvious evidence to the contrary, didn't feel loved by his wife. As the authors note, there are many ways "to defend yourself against someone else's desire to encourage, help, or love you," whether because you overvalue your partner and feel unworthy of his or her love, or because you devalue that partner and see him or her as unworthy of giving love. The authors instruct readers to examine their childhood dynamics for unconscious influences on their view of relationships, such as uncomfortable feelings of self-rejection. And taking a page from Martin Buber, they also focus on what is "between" the I and Thou in a relationship, "the sacred space between two individuals" that can unite them or serve as a "dumping ground" for anger. These complicated concepts become clear as illustrated through in-depth looks at three heterosexual and same-sex couples. And through their Imago dialoguing technique, the authors also provide concrete steps to learn how to have a truly empathetic conversation that gets beneath the surface of a couple's problems. With this wise and sophisticated book, readers can learn to receive love and, in doing so, "reclaim [their] own desires, dreams and abilities." Copyright � Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. The list price for this book is $24.95. To purchase it for $16.97 at a 32% discount from Amazon.com, go directly to http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0743483693/selfimprovemeonlA/ --------------------------------------------------- *** HOW TO SUBSCRIBE and BE REMOVED FROM THIS NEWSLETTER*** To subscribe to our newsletter, please go to our Subscriptions Page at http://www.selfimprovementnewsletters.com To be removed from this newsletter, send a blank email to unknown lmsubst tag argument: '' or for many emails programs just click below: mailto:unknown lmsubst tag argument: '' --------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------- *** HOW TO RECOMMEND OUR NEWSLETTER TO YOUR FRIENDS *** If you have found our free Self Improvement Newsletter inspiring, beneficial, interesting or entertaining, don't forget to recommend it to your friends. The process is quick and easy. Just go to http://www.selfgrowth.com/freegift.html <a href=http://www.selfgrowth.com/freegift.html>Click Here</a> -------------------------------------------------- DISCLAIMER The contents herein are solely the opinions of Self Improvement Online editors, and should not be considered as a form of therapy nor advice. There is no guarantee of validity or accuracy. Self Improvement Online, Inc. assumes no responsibility for injury and specifically disclaims any warranty, express or implied for any products or services mentioned. If expert assistance or counseling is needed, services of a competent professional should be sought. COPYRIGHT (C) 2003 by Self Improvement Online, Inc. 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