* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Water Cooler Wit Weekly - December 21, 2004 Fun Office Humor & Tales From The Cube Farm. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
----------------------------SPONSOR----------------------------- ** Get a FREE ISSUE When You Try "Home Cooking" Magazine! ** - VISIT http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=drg23 - SATISFYING RECIPES you can make quickly and easily! - Shorter list of QUALITY INGREDIENTS! - Ingredients that are AVAILABLE LOCALLY! CLICK HERE: <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=drg23 ">Click Here</a> ---------------------------------------------------------------- Here's A Fun Way To Waste Time at Work: Read Dr. Seuss's Rejected Books MyFree.com has a collection of fun pages to brighten your day and to pass along to others. This week, we're featuring our "Rejected Dr. Seuss Books" list. Have a click and have a laugh! <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=mfp1 ">Click Here</a> Microsoft Christmas 'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house Not a creature was stirring, except Papa's mouse. The computer was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did last minute Internet shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with care In hope that St. Nicholas would bring new software. The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of computer games danced in their heads. PageMaker for Billy, and Quicken for Dan, And Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann. The letters to Santa had been sent out by Mom, To [EMAIL PROTECTED] Which has now been re-routed to Washington State Because Santa's workshop has been bought by Bill Gates. All the elves and reindeer have had to skedaddle To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle. After centuries of a life that was simple and spare, St. Nicholas is suddenly a new billionaire, With a shiny red Porsche in the place of his sleigh, And a house on Lake Washington that's just down the way >From where Bill has his mansion. The old fellow preens In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans. The elves have stock options and desks with a view, Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue. No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums Will be under the tree, only new CD-ROMS With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive, >From now on Christmas runs only on Win95. More rapid than eagles the competitors came, And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name. "Now, ADOBE! Now, CLARIS! Now, INTUIT! too, Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you all are through, It is Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist, It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist - Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf, And on the package, a picture of Santa himself. 'Get 'em young, keep 'em long' is Microsoft's scheme, And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream. To the top of the NASDAQ! to the top of the Dow! Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!" And Mama in her 'kerchief and I in my cap, Had just settled down for a long winter's nap, When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, The whir and the hum of our satellite platter, As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky, The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy. As I sprang from my bed and was turning around, My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound. And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates. And I heard them exclaim in voice so bright, Have a Microsoft Christmas, and to all a good night. ----------------------------SPONSOR----------------------------- Free Sample of OxiClean Dual StainFighter Detergent OxiClean Dual StainFighter is a fast-acting, oxygenated stain remover that gets out your toughest laundry stains such as dirt, grass, chocolate and those everyday stains. Get your free sample now. Hurry, quantities are limited. <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf993 ">Click Here</a> ---------------------------------------------------------------- SHARE YOUR OFFICE HUMOR! If you have a favorite office "funny" you'd like to share, submit it! Maybe you'll see your favorite in a future newsletter! <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf459 ">Click Here</a> Keep 'em laughing at the office, Susan Derby Water Cooler Editor www.B2BFreeResources.com : : : : : : : : : : EDITOR'S NOTE : : : : : : : : : : Get FREE Christmas Stickers We still have a limited supply of Christmas stickers to give away free to our subscribers. These are perfect for scrapbook pages and holiday decoration, so don't miss your chance for these free stickers! <A href=" http://ed.myfree.com/r/r.php?src=myf1047 ">Click Here</a> : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : * * * . . . . . . 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