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You are subscribed to Humor-Exprezz because of a request from you or someone impersonating your email address. If you would rather NOT be subscribed, you can send an email to: [EMAIL PROTECTED] with the email address you subscribed with. _____________ IN THE NEWS _____________ A Chilean man has won a competition after he kissed a car for 54 hours non-stop. The 22-year-old won the car he kissed. He was handed the keys to the brand new vehicle after his last competitor fainted. The 'big smoocher' kissed the car for exactly 54 hours and 22 minutes. He was only allowed 7 minutes off every three hours. The competition was promoted by a radio station. _______________________________________________ Hit the $2,000,000 Jackpot! Tired of playing for peanuts? Register for Free today at Jackpot.com and you could win $2 Million Instantly! Plus, you can play for Thousands more in cash an prizes every day. What are you waiting for? Click here! http://mocda1.com/1/c/61479/198833/372494/372494 <a href="http://mocda1.com/1/c/61479/198833/372494/372494";> AOL users go here </a> _______________________________________________ The above is an advertisement. To unsubscribe from Jackpot membership mailings, Click to this site - http://clicks.jackpot.com/unlist.asp?email=%email% Jackpot membership 15260 Ventura Blvd Suite 2000 Sherman Oaks, CA 91403 To unsubscribe from the Mailer's list, please see below. _______________________________________________ DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE? According to the USDA, Americans waste almost 25% of all the food produced in the U.S. each year. _______________________________________________ TODAY'S LINKS: Mp3 <a href=" http://www.mp3.com/ "> aol</a> The Secret History of Credit Cards http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/credit/ Kiss This Face http://www.kissonline.com/kissyourface/body.html Jokeworm Jokes <a href=" http://www.jokeworm.com/cleanjokes/ "> click</a> _______________________________________________ How to tell you have a Redneck Pilot Your cross country flight plan uses flea markets as check points. You think sectional charts should show trailer parks. You've thought about just taxiing around the airport drinking beer. You use a Purina feed sack for a wind sock. You constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut. You think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight. You refer to flying in formation as "We got us a convoy". You have an orange airplane with a Union Jack on the side. You've got a gun rack hanging on the passenger window. You have more than one roll of duct tape holding your cowling together. Your preflight includes removing all the clover, grass, and wheat from the landing gear. You siphon gas out of your tractor to put in your airplane. You've never really actually landed at an airport, although you've been flying for years. There are parts on your airplane labeled "John Deere". You have to buzz the strip to chase off all the sheep. You've landed on the main street of your town for a cup of coffee. You fly to family reunions to meet girls. You've won the "Bob Wire" award at a spot landing contest. You have fuzzy dice hanging from the magnetic compass. There are grass stains on your propeller tips. The spittoon is wedged between the rudder pedals Just before impact, you're heard saying "Hey, y'all, watch this!" _______________________________________________ TODAY'S TOON'S : Starting Young <a href=" http://www.borg.com/~rjgtoons/images/144.gif "> aol</a> Daily Bravenet Toon http://pub13.bravenet.com/cartoon/show.php?usernum=1054345707 ______________________________________________ An insurance agent was teaching his wife to drive when the brakes suddenly failed on a steep, downhill grade. "I can't stop!" she shrilled. "What should I do?" "Brace yourself," advised her husband, "and try to hit something cheap." _______________________________________________ http://www.humor-exprezz.com _______________________________________________ DID YA KNOW OR DO YA CARE? Watermelons and lettuce are 97% water. _______________________________________________ Jimmy and Timmy were brothers. One day Mom and Dad had to go into town. Dad told Jimmy, "While we are gone I want you boys to clear away the dirty dishes, clean your room, and mow the grass." When they returned nothing had been done. Dad was very upset. He asked Jimmy, "What have you been doing while we were gone?" Jimmy replied in a low voice, "Nothing." Dad then turns to Timmy and asks, "What have you been doing?" Timmy replied, "Helping Jimmy." _______________________________________________ Humor-Exprezz may contain links to sites on the Internet which are owned and operated by third parties. We are not responsible for the availability of, and/or the content located on or through, any such third-party sites. All Content � By their Creators. Subscribe address.. [EMAIL PROTECTED] Unsub address ... [EMAIL PROTECTED] (`'�.�(`'�.� �.�'�) �.�'�) ��Humor-Exprezz`� (�.�'�(�.�'� `'�.�)`' �.�) �.�� ( `�.� `�.� ) �.�)� (.�� `*. *. 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