event-description
fast heartbeat, palpitations, shaking, sleeplessness, tossing and turning,
wide-awake, sweating, heavy eyelids, unbearable exhaustion, persistent
urination, dry throat, mucus, sore throat, shoulder pain, slight pain in
ankles, neck pain, slight joint pain in fingers, out of breath, slight
feeling of rigidity, panic, despair, lower back pain > panic attack?
excessive and chronic insomnia?
feelings of having-to-do-everything-immediately because of the imminence
of death, mind whirling at high-speed, anguish over dying, anguish over
leaving azure behind, anguish over my father's condition, anguish over our
financial situation, anguish over my joblessness > not depression though -
slight difficulty swallowing, dry mouth, dry scalp, excessive nervousness,
not wanting to go on like this, watching the irreversible slowing-up of my
father, fear of family feuding, feeling trapped, flailing uselessly, teeth
hurting slightly, bad breath, random itches, legs twitching, chapped,
lips, feelings of infinite regret, jealousies of others' careers, slightly
manic - feelings of stupidity, of being tone-deaf, of being unable to do
anything and to do anything of importance, of being forgotten, of being
garbage, of interfering with the lives of others, of interfering with
email lists, of interfering in virtual ad real worlds, of being a blight
on the internet, of being useless and being utterly useless, slight pains
in lower left leg, inability to concentrate > faster, faster -
Fri Jul 9 05:58:40 EDT 2010 all night, all day, all week, all month long
-
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