Maybe i should put THIS in the "welcome" message?.-)
cheers
Denis
####################
The only thing I see here is two things: (Oskuro at /.)
> How to Please Your I.T. Department
> 1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
> buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,
> dried
> flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a life, and
> we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
> 2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error messages
> from here.
> 3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee. That
> way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for us
to
> remember 700 screen saver passwords.
> 4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's keeping
> you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get into your
> mail
> because your computer won't power on at all.
> 5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete
> it at once. We're just testing.
> 6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
> spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
> 7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and
> flags it as a rush delivery.
> 8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
> electronics in it.
> 9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
> support. We can fix your telephone line from here.
> 10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
> computer support. We're collectors.
> 11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T.
> person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the
> problem.
> We love a puzzle.
> 12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
> cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
> 13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply in
> a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by
> shortly?"
> That motivates us.
> 14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
> Print jobs frequently that get sucked into black holes.
> 15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
> all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
> 16. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know exactly
> what you mean by "My thingy blew up".
> 17. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.
> 18. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your
> dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were
> designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.
> 19. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the mail
> upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of muffin
> crumbs and nail clippings in them.
> 20. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that Yes
> button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be
> doing it,
> would you?
> 21. When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit
> uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs
up. We
> don't
> have any money to speak of anyway.
> 22. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about
> that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of
professional
>
> expertise referred to as crap.
> 23. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call I.T.
> support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task, and
> Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional
> engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.
> 24. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary
> to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a
> third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.
> 25. When you receive a 30mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as a
> mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
> 26. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller
> chunks.
> Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the queue.
> 27. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company.
> People out in Pofadder like to keep abreast of what's going on.
> 28. When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a
> Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.
> 29. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your own.
> Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.
> 30. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office,
> leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings and drivers
> somewhere.
> 31. Keep it crashing!
