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CHUCK MUTH�S NEWS & VIEWS
March 18, 2004

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WHAT�S THIS TELL YOU?

�Chuck, A co-worker of mine and his wife have decided to home school their two 
children. To do this, his wife is taking a leave of absence from her job.  As a public 
school teacher. Will wonders never cease?�

- News & Views reader Joe R.

A GRADE-A, FIRST-CLASS, GORE-LEVEL B.S. STORY

Question asked on Humane Society candidate survey:  �Do you have any pets that have 
made an impact on you personally?

John Kerry�s answer:  �When I was serving on a swiftboat in Vietnam, my crewmates and 
I had a dog we called VC. We all took care of him, and he stayed with us and loved 
riding on the swiftboat deck. I think he provided all of us with a link to home and a 
few moments of peace and tranquility during a dangerous time. One day as our swiftboat 
was heading up a river, a mine exploded hard under our boat. After picking ourselves 
up, we discovered VC was MIA. Several minutes of frantic search followed after which 
we thought we'd lost him. We were relieved when another boat called asking if we were 
missing a dog. It turns out VC was catapulted from the deck of our boat and landed 
confused, but unhurt, on the deck of another boat in our patrol.�

SPANISH BUSH-WHACKING

�(L)ike the Democrats, the Spanish hate George Bush more than they hate the 
terrorists.�

- Columnist Ann Coulter

PERMISSION SLIP DIPLOMACY

�If he is elected president, Sen. John Kerry would return American decision-making to 
the dithering and powerless United Nations, which is precisely what America's enemies 
would like to see.�

- Columnist Cal Thomas

OLD EUROPE�S FAVORITE SON

�According to Kerry, foreign leaders are lining up to tell him, 'You gotta win this, 
you gotta beat this guy [President Bush].'  And why might this be? Because, explain 
these foreign leaders to the Democratic nominee, 'We need a new policy.'  Now wait a 
minute, did I get that right? That foreign leaders need a new U.S. policy and that 
this is a good reason to vote for Kerry? I don't mean to sound heedless of the 
opinions of mankind, but I'm honestly not sure many Americans care whether foreign 
leaders want 'a new policy' in this country.�

- Columnist Adam Wolfson, National Review Online

THE TWO-FACED SENATOR

�I actually did vote for the $87 billion before I voted against it.�

- John Kerry on his vote on the supplemental request for money to fund pay raises and 
body armor for troops in Iraq

"Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay 
marriages.� I'm telling you this guy has more positions than Paris Hilton."

- Late Show host David Letterman

"According to a new study, Botox injections can help back pain.� So you see, that's 
why John Kerry had all that Botox - his back was killing him from all that 
flip-flopping on issues."

- Tonight Show host Jay Leno

WORSE THAN THE DUKE

�John Kerry is right about one thing: He's no Michael Dukakis. A look at the record 
shows that in his bid for the White House in 1988, Massachusetts' then-governor ran to 
Mr. Kerry's RIGHT on national defense.�

- Wall Street Journal columnist Brendan Miniter

TUBE TIP

C-SPAN, as part of its Road to the White House, is broadcasting Sen. Kerry�s 1971 
testimony before Sen. Fulbright Committee�this Sunday night (6:30 & 9:30).

HOT OFF THE PRESS

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better take steps to avoid, the two pieces of paper you must have before asking for 
your first major dollar, the Top Ten questions you better be prepared to answer from 
major donor prospects, the twelve most-common budget items for a typical campaign, an 
old salesman's rule that you should learn and perfect, how to overcome the biggest 
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DRUG-INDUCED POLICY DISASTER

�The Bush White House has been accused of lying about all kinds of things, most of the 
time without proof. But a flap over its low-balled cost estimates for the new Medicare 
prescription drug benefit has even its allies concerned.  Anyone who knew anything 
about Medicare knew that the official $400 billion price-tag limit was optimistic at 
best. But now comes the accusation from Richard Foster, chief actuary at the Centers 
for Medicare and Medicaid Services, that he was ordered to hush up about his own 
10-year estimates that exceeded that number by more than $100 billion.

�...As with the steel tariffs, President Bush is paying a price for wandering from his 
principles. The Medicare bill was the first big test of whether �compassionate 
conservatism� would actually promote individual freedom and ownership or simply become 
the GOP's version of the old command-and-control welfare state.  It ended up being 
mostly the latter, and it looks increasingly as if Republicans won't have even a 
short-term political gain to show for it. The next time the White House is tempted to 
threaten legislators in the middle of the night, we hope it's on something worth the 
effort and true to its convictions.�

- �Review & Outlook,� Wall Street Journal, 3/17/04

SENIORS� GROUP HAS PANTIES IN A TWIST

�That's homonym -- as in words that sound alike but are spelled differently. Which is 
just what's got AARP so hot and bothered about a new group calling itself ARP.  AARP, 
which formerly stood for the American Association of Retired Persons, is arguably the 
Beltway's most formidable lobby and a staunch opponent of plans to privatize Social 
Security. ARP is the moniker for the newly announced Alliance for Retirement 
Prosperity (www.arpnow.org). . . . So upset is AARP by this new face on the block that 
it's threatening ARP with a lawsuit if ARP doesn't change its name.�

- �Review & Outlook,� Wall Street Journal, 3/17/04

GUNNING FOR CANNON

Project USA announced this week that it has erected five huge billboards in the heart 
of Rep. Chris  Cannon�s (R-Utah) district.  The billboards read:  �Congressman Chris 
Cannon wants amnesty for illegal aliens. Do you?"

AMNESTY SCHEME HAS NO CHANCE

�President Bush tried to jump-start the debate over changing U.S. immigration policy 
in January, but his proposal isn't seen as having any chance of success on Capitol 
Hill by either Democrats or Republicans.  �It's nonexistent,� said Carlos Espinosa, 
spokesman for Rep. Tom Tancredo, Colorado Republican and chairman of the House 
Immigration Reform Caucus, who opposes the plan.�

- Washington Times, 3/17/04

PROGRESS HAPPENS

�Anything that increases economic efficiency � whether by outsourcing or a hundred 
other things � is likely to cost somebody's job. The automobile cost the jobs of 
people who took care of horses or made saddles, carriages and horseshoes.  Computers 
sent typewriter manufacturers into bankruptcy.�

- Columnist Thomas Sowell

THE AMERICAN TALIBAN

�At last night's (Rhea County, TN) commission meeting, a motion was passed unanimously 
to push legislation allowing Rhea County to charge gays and lesbians with crimes 
against nature. Commissioner J.C. Fugate says he made the motion because of all the 
recent controversy about gay marriages. . . . Next week, Rhea County commissioners are 
scheduled to vote on whether to ban homosexuals from living there altogether.�

- WRBC-TV, Chattanooga
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WINNING �HOW TO� CAMPAIGN REPORTS

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