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CHUCK MUTH�S NEWS & VIEWS
March 26, 2004

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NOT NUTS FOR NOSTALGIA

�I never did understand the nostalgia craze, which is a relatively recent blight on 
cultural life in the United States. . . . (W)ith the introduction of cable TV, it�s 
all nostalgia all the time, cluttering the minds of kids by presenting dumb 
misrepresentations of recent history.  If I walk past my older son�s room one more 
time and hear Devo�s �Whip It,� it�s just possible I�ll flip out, dude, and become a 
Yankees or John Kerry fan. That�s how dangerous this garbage is.�

- Columnist Russ Smith

PERV-ALERT FOR DC PARENTS

�Pop star Michael Jackson plans to visit Washington next week to share his views on 
world affairs with members of the Congressional Black Caucus. . . . Rep. William Lacy 
Clay, D-Mo., whom (Roll Call) identifies as �a proponent of the visit,� says the 
members of the CBC should welcome Jackson.  �It is good we show our support to Michael 
Jackson,� Clay said. �He gives so much of himself monetarily and through his talent.� �

- UPI, 3/25/04

ON THE DISCUSSION BOARD

So Michael �Wacko Jacko� Jackson is coming to DC next week to cast out some pearls of 
international wisdom for the Congressional Black Caucus.  I don�t know which is the 
more absurd proposition:  That Jackson could actually have something to say about 
world affairs that anyone would take seriously...or that the CBC thinks Jackson could 
actually have something to say about world affairs that anyone would take seriously.  
This is just too �twilight zone� for me, folks. What do you think?  Put your two cents 
in on our Discussion Board at:  http://blog.chuckmuth.com/blog/

OLDIE BUT A GOODIE

�When I take action I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and 
hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive.�

- Attributed to President Bush just after the 9/11 attacks

ISRAEL�S DECISIVE ACTION

�The United States, rightly unsparing in its efforts to capture or kill Osama bin 
Laden, whose al Qaeda operatives killed 3,000 Americans on September 11, is in no 
position to criticize Israel for assassinating Sheikh Ahmed Yassin, the founder of 
Hamas. . . . It's no exaggeration to say that Yassin had become a bin Laden for the 
Israelis. That's why the reactions from the State Department, which described itself 
as �deeply troubled� by the killing of Yassin, and British Foreign Secretary Jack 
Straw, who calls the Israeli action �illegal,� are fatuous and morally empty.�

- Washington Times editorial, 3/25/04

DEAD MEN DON�T CHEER

�One year after the U.S.-led liberation of Iraq, many citizens there applaud while 
others jeer. But thousands more are as quiet as ever.  Those who populate Iraq's mass 
graves silently testify to what their country has escaped. . . . . Those who still 
believe America and its allies should have left Iraq untouched cannot avoid this 
conclusion: Had their arguments prevailed, Saddam Hussein's mass graves would be in 
business today, constantly brimming with Baathism's voiceless victims.�

- Columnist Deroy Murdock

YET ANOTHER BENEFIT TO OUSTING SADDAM

�Hamas and virtually all other Palestinian radical groups have been experiencing 
growing difficulties in attracting new recruits, especially for suicide operations. 
Hamas is also facing financial difficulties.  The fall of Saddam Hussein closed what 
had become the single biggest source of funds for Hamas in the past five years. 
Several other Arab countries have been forced to close channels through which funds 
were collected for and directed to Hamas.�

- Iranian commentator Amir Taheri in the New York Post, 3/25/04

THE APOLOGY CLARKE SHOULD HAVE GIVEN

�The proceedings of the committee to elect John Kerry President continued yesterday, 
this time with walking contradiction Richard Clarke testifying. . . . Surprisingly, 
this egomaniac's head actually fit through the door of the hearing room. Clarke kicked 
off his testimony with an apology to �the loved ones of the victims of 9/11....your 
government failed you.� Those entrusted with protecting you failed you and I failed 
you.�

�His statement should have more truthfully been �to the loved ones of the victims of 
9/11...the Clinton administration failed you.� Prior to the slaughter of your loved 
ones on 9/11 by Islamic terrorists, Bill Clinton turned down the direct handover of 
Osama Bin Laden on numerous occasions.� The Clinton administration refused to allow 
the CIA to kill Bin Laden, with only capture as the stated policy.� Those entrusted 
with protecting you, including myself,�were abject failures who viewed terrorism as a 
law enforcement problem. And don't forget to buy my book.� "

- Talk-show host Neal Boortz

DISSING THE BLACK CHICK

�(Former anti-terrorism staffer Richard) Clarke claims...that in early 2001, when he 
told President Bush's National Security Adviser Condoleezza Rice about al-Qaida, her 
�facial expression gave me the impression that she had never heard the term before.� . 
. . By the end of 2000, anyone who read the paper had heard of al-Qaida. It is 
literally insane to imagine that Condoleezza Rice had not. For Pete's sake, even The 
New York Times knew about al-Qaida.

�...Isn't that just like a liberal? The chair-warmer describes Bush as a cowboy and 
Rumsfeld as his gunslinger -- but the black chick is a dummy. Maybe even as dumb as 
Clarence Thomas! . . .  If a Republican ever claimed the �facial expression� on Maxine 
Waters -- a woman whose face is no stranger to confusion or befuddlement -- left the 
�impression� that she didn't understand quantum physics, he'd be in prison for 
committing a hate crime.�

- Columnist Ann Coulter

GRANNY GROPERS COULD GET THE HEAVE-HO

�Major airports, including the ones in the Washington area, are considering replacing 
their federal passenger screeners with private companies, which monitored passengers 
and baggage before the September 11 terrorist attacks.  The legislation that created 
the federalized screeners gives airports the option of using private companies 
beginning Nov. 19 if they can demonstrate security would not diminish.  Airport 
managers have been expressing frustration over growing lines at security checkpoints 
monitored by federal security screeners.�

- Washington Times, 3/25/04

THE LIFE OF A PEACENIK

�Being divorced from reality is what being an anti-war protester is all about.  For a 
few hours each year, you get to run around disrupting other people�s lives, pretending 
you�re doing something socially relevant and saying things like: �War doesn't solve 
anything.� �

- National Review Online columnist Andrew Cline

SICK AND TIRED

�Frankly, I've had it up to here with the politicians who claim to represent my party 
but really represent nothing but special interest groups and their own partisan 
agendas.  I remember when most Democrats were in favor of projecting America's power 
abroad, because we believed that America was a great force for good over evil. . . . 
These days, it seems like some people in my party are motivated more by partisan 
politics than by national interest.�

- Sen. Zell Miller, Georgia Democrat, kicking off a national �Democrats for Bush� 
campaign, 3/24/04

AUTOPSY OF HOWARD�S END

For an in-depth insider�s sob-and-weep account of how the wheel�s came off the Howard 
Dean presidential apple cart, surf over to Atlantic Monthly at: 
http://www.theatlantic.com/issues/2004/05/maslin.htm

AMNESTY PLAN GOING NOWHERE FAST

�House Republicans and Democrats gave a generally chilly reception yesterday to 
President Bush's proposal to grant temporary visas to an unlimited number of foreign 
workers. . . . The president's plan has stalled on Capitol Hill after a single hearing 
on the Senate side. A Senate Republican leadership aide said yesterday that no major 
immigration bill is likely to pass this year.�

- Cox News Service, 3/25/04

TWO-CARD MONTI�S WEIRD LOGIC

�Check this out: Yesterday Europe's antitrust czar, Mario Monti, ordered Microsoft to 
offer a version of its Windows operating system without the currently included Windows 
Media Player... The weird part is, Microsoft can also continue to sell the �full� 
(i.e., current) version of Windows, with Media Player, and do so without changing the 
price. . . . In other words, 90 days from now, computer makers and consumers will have 
a choice: Buy a version of Windows that does everything it currently does; or, for the 
same price, buy a version that does less.  Why would anyone buy the crippled version?�

- �Review & Outlook,� Wall Street Journal, 3/25/04

WHEW...SURE GLAD THE MARRIAGE AMENDMENT ISN�T ABOUT HATE

�Matthew Shepard (was killed) here in Wyoming, it was good riddance. We should do what 
the Arabs/Muslims followers of the Koran do to faggots, execute them all, my son 
included.  Faggots are the scum of the earth, filth at it lowest form.�

- News & Views reader who declined to identify himself (or herself), 3/25/04
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