Oh cool, I did not know that he was a sysadmin also. On Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 9:35 AM, Andrew Laya <[email protected]> wrote:
> What a riot. Thanks Sherry! > > BTW - if you liked the motorcycle and squirrel story, the story's > author (and a fellow sysadmin) Daniel Mayer has lots more like it (as > well as a published book series) on his website at > www.lifeisaroad.com. > > Enjoy. > > Andrew > > > On 7/17/09, Sherry Abercrombie <[email protected]> wrote: > > Mr. Caesare, this is especially for you since you need a laugh or two to > get > > you through the long day/night you have scheduled. Warning, some may > find > > this politically, moraly or gender(ly) incorrect, but it's one of the > > funniest things I've read since the squirrel & motorcycle story. (1, 3 > & > > 12 are my personal favorites). > > > > BANNED FROM WAL-MART > > > > This is why women should not take men shopping against their will. > > > > After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to > > Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and > > preferred to get in and get out. > > > > Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. > > Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local > > Wal-Mart: > > > > Dear Mrs. Samsel, > > > > Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion > in > > our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban > both > > of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below > > and are documented by our video surveillance cameras. > > > > 1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's > carts > > when they weren't looking. > > > > 2 . July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute > > intervals. > > > > 3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the > women's > > restroom. > > > > 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, > > 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away. ' > > > > 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on > > layaway. > > > > 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. > > > > 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other > > shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets > from > > the bedding department. > > > > 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him, he began crying > and > > screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' > > > > 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a > > mirror while he picked his nose. > > > > 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked > > the clerk where the antidepressants were. > > > > 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming > the > > ' Mission Impossible' theme. > > > > 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by > > using different sizes of funnels. > > > > 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, > > yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' > > > > 14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he > assumed > > a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' > > > > And last, but not least . > > > > 15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, > then > > yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!' > > > > > > -- > > Sherry Abercrombie > > > > "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." > > Arthur C. Clarke > > Sent from Haslet, TX, United States > > > > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ > > ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ > > -- > Sent from my mobile device > > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ > ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ > -- Sherry Abercrombie "Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic." Arthur C. Clarke Sent from Haslet, TX, United States ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~
