Nothing like a Steelers fan to overcompensate... On Fri, Feb 4, 2011 at 5:25 PM, Steven Peck <[email protected]> wrote:
> so... > > you brought a bazooka to a knife fight. > > > > > On Fri, Feb 4, 2011 at 1:47 PM, Randall <[email protected]> wrote: > >> Just a rebuff from a proud Steelers fan........ >> >> 1. A Steelers fan and a Packers fan get shipwrecked on an island and some >> natives take them to their king. At first, the king plans to execute them, >> then, he decides to grant them one wish, twenty lashes on the back, and let >> them go. >> The Packers fan wishes for a pillow strapped to his back. It doesn’t hold >> well during the whipping and broke after 5 whips, leaving 15 painful marks >> on his back. >> >> When it was the Steelers fan’s turn though, a smile came across his face. >> “I wish for 300 lashes,” stated the Steelers fan. >> >> The king thought the Steelers fan was being very brave and noble, so he >> gave him another wish. “I wish the Packers fan was strapped to my back!” >> said the Steeler fan ! >> >> >> >> 2. A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Cheesehead. >> >> She asks her students to raise their hands if they are >> Cheeseheads too. >> >> No one really knowing what a Cheesehead was, but wanting >> to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like flashy >> fireworks. >> >> There is, however, one exception. A girl named Kristen >> who has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has >> decided to be different. >> >> “Because I’m not a Cheesehead.” >> >> “Then”, asks the teacher, “what are you?” >> >> “Why, I’m a proud Steelers Fan,” boasts the little girl. >> >> The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks >> Kristen why she is a rebel. >> >> “Well, my mom and dad are Steelers Fans, so I’m a Steelers Fan too.” >> >> The teacher is now angry. “That’s no reason,” she says loudly. “What if >> your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?” >> >> A pause, and a smile. “Then,” says Kristen, “I’d be a Cheesehead” >> >> >> >> 3. Aaron Rogers walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and >> says..."Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have headaches." >> >> His wife is lying in bed and replies..."I think you'll find that's a >> sheep, you idiot." >> >> Aaron says..."I think you'll find that I wasn't talking to you." >> >> 4. You know you are a Packer fan when the Halloween pumpkin on your porch >> has more teeth >> than your spouse. >> >> 5.You know you are a Packer fan when you've been married three times and >> still have the >> same in-laws. >> >> 6.You know you are a Packer fan when you wonder how service stations keep >> their >> restrooms so clean. >> >> 7.You know you are a Packer fan when your wife's hairdo was once ruined by >> a ceiling >> fan. >> >> 8.You know you are a Packer fan if your junior prom had a daycare. >> >> 9.You know you are a Packer fan if you think loading a dishwasher means >> getting your >> wife drunk. >> >> 10.You know you are a Packer fan if your front porch collapses and kills >> more than >> five dogs. >> >> >> >> *Q: *What is the difference between a Packer fan and a baby? >> *A: *The baby will stop whining after awhile. >> >> *Q: *What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan? >> *A: *An anorexic! >> >> >> *Q: *What do you call a beautiful girl in Green Bay? >> *A: *A tourist. >> >> *Q: *What do you call a good looking woman with a Packer fan? >> *A: *A hostage >> >> *Q: *Why do Packer fans smell so bad? >> *A: *So blind people can hate them as well. >> >> *Q: *What’s the difference between a porcupine and Lambeau Field? >> *A: *The pricks are on the outside of a porcupine. >> >> *Q: *How do you circumcise a Packer Fan? >> *A: *Kick his sister in the mouth >> >> *Q:** *Why does Lambeau Field have the new hybrid turf? >> *A: *To keep the fans from grazing during the game. >> >> *Q: *What do you say to a drunken alcoholic pervert who is passed out on >> your car after a Packer game? >> *A: *“May I have your autograph Mr. Favre?” >> >> *Q: *What doe’s a Tampon and the packers have in common? >> *A: *Only good for one period and they don’t have a second string!! >> >> >> >> On the eve of a Sunday kickoff, this old Green Bay Packer fan couple went >> to bed at the Super 8 on Oneida street- just a mile or so away from Lambeau. >> The old guy farted and yelled out "7". >> >> The old lady said what was that. He said he got a touchdown. I'm playing >> Fart Football. The old lady farted and yelled 7-7. The old man farted again >> 14-7. The old lady farted again tied 14-14. >> >> The old lady sqeeked a little fart 17-14. The old man said what was that? >> She replied, >> >> "I just kicked a field goal". >> >> The old man layed there trying to push out another fart. He pushed so hard >> he shit the bed. The old lady said what was that? The old man replied it's >> 1/2 time and time to switch sides. >> >> >> >> Go Steelers !!!!!!!!!! >> >> Randall >> >> ----- Original Message ----- >> *From:* Bob Hartung <[email protected]> >> *To:* NT System Admin Issues <[email protected]> >> *Sent:* Friday, February 04, 2011 4:08 PM >> *Subject:* [OT] Superbowl >> >> Ben Rothelisberger, after living a full life, died. >> >> When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest >> little house with a faded Steelers flag in the window. >> >> "This house is yours for eternity, Ben," said God. "This is very special; >> not everyone gets a house up here." Ben felt special, indeed, and walked up >> to his house. >> >> On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. >> It was a 3-story mansion with a GREEN & 24k GOLD sidewalk, a 50-foot tall >> flagpole with an enormous silk PACKERS flag, and in every window, a >> CHEESEHEAD. >> >> Ben looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful but I >> have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I hold many NFL records, and I even >> won a Super Bowl." >> >> God said "So what's your point, Ben?" >> >> "Well, why does Aaron Rodgers get a better house than I do ?" >> >> God chuckled, and said: >> >> "Ben, that's not Aaron's house...... >> ............it's Mine." >> >> >> GO PACKERS ! >> >> >> >> ---------------------- >> >> Bob Hartung >> Wisco Industries, Inc. >> 736 Janesville St. >> Oregon, WI 53575 >> Tel: (608) 835-3106 x215 >> Fax: (608) 835-7399 >> e-mail: bhartung(at)wiscoind.com >> >> ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ >> ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ >> >> --- >> To manage subscriptions click here: >> http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ >> or send an email to [email protected] >> with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin >> >> ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ >> ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ >> >> --- >> To manage subscriptions click here: >> http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ >> or send an email to [email protected] >> with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin >> > > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ > ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ > > --- > To manage subscriptions click here: > http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ > or send an email to [email protected] > with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin > ~ Finally, powerful endpoint security that ISN'T a resource hog! ~ ~ <http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/Business/VIPRE-Enterprise/> ~ --- To manage subscriptions click here: http://lyris.sunbelt-software.com/read/my_forums/ or send an email to [email protected] with the body: unsubscribe ntsysadmin
