[Winona Online Democracy]
I'm having all sorts of reactions to the dialogue about newcomers. I first
came to Winona 15 years ago and am honored to have both "transplants" and
native Winonans in my social circle. My spouse is a native Winonan. He
comes from a large family who always has room for one more at the table. I
remember the first night I was here. My neighbors (who happened to own my
apartment house) invited me to Sunday dinner with their family. I will
never forget Barb and Steve Slaggie's warm welcome. I also had the good
fortune of living for a time on the Iron Range and to befriend both
"natives" and "transplants" in that area as well.
An interesting topic came up recently within a specific circle of mine. One
friend noted that another friend in the group was her only Winonan friend.
We all wondered why it might be that folks would not regularly mix. I have
many hypotheses. One is the relative introverted or extroverted nature of
the newcomers or the "townies" with whom they may or may not have contact.
As an extreme introvert, I do not find it to be terribly unpleasant to move
somewhere and not have anyone with whom to socialize!! In fact, sometimes
the idea of going somewhere new just to get a little quiet and solitude
sounds pretty darn good to me! After 15 years, a quick stop at Target is
impossible! I always run into friends, relatives, acquaintances, and
business contacts. I think that extroverted newcomers who have a high need
for social contact may simply find the situation more uncomfortable than
introverts like myself. For these folks, I can see how a Newcomers Club
would be essential.
Another hypothesis relates to the arrogance that folks from a bigger city
sometimes bring with them when they arrive in Winona. Heck, I remember a
friend confronting me on mine when I moved from Milwaukee to Madison to go
to school! Let's be honest. Any of us from metro areas miss the benefits.
I think that local residents (natives) are proud of this community and that
when outsiders come here with talk of how much more or better things are
back home, they get a bit defensive. I get defensive myself when childhood
friends who have settled in metro areas wonder how I can possibly be content
here or intimate that Winona is somehow less than their "real world."
Sometimes folks just feel more comfortable hanging with their own kind, even
if that means upwardly mobile types from the big city. I beleive that if
one truly wants to hang out with someone else, they can probably find a
way--even if that person is a Winona native.
Sure, Winona natives have a shared history that the rest of us aren't a part
of, but I find that by taking the time to listen to the stories (Have you
ever heard about the flood of '65 or the hired murder by the "nice guy" who
owned the Coast to Coast store?) and showing an interest in them, they will,
in turn, listen to mine and take an interest in me.
Well, I'm about done with this rant, but my closing comment is that while
having a Newcomer's Club and Welcome Wagon may be quite helpful to those
searching for a place to mix, get support, and find out about local
merchants and service providers, it won't bridge the gap between locals and
transplants. That gap can only be closed by folks who are willing to get
uncomfortable and reach outside of their boxes. In the process they may
learn about themselves as well as their new neighbors.
Kathy Seifert
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