RE: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

[Mohan, Ross]

Title: RE: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

Thanks!...but....can I be John Cusack?

 

I like the whole hangdog, embittered but mostly confused post relationship luckless ne'er do well thing.

 

Yes! Chris should get an award!

 

Especially if he gets me that "rouge intern".

 

Whoooo-eeeee!

-----Original Message-----
From: Koivu, Lisa [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 12:17 PM
To: '[EMAIL PROTECTED]'; '[EMAIL PROTECTED]'
Subject: RE: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

OK, ok.  You can be Keanu Reeves or David Duchovny.  If you are going to be my sidekick you better be easy on the eyes !

Believe it or not a friend of mine cast me in his "movie" being shot next month - I am the bitchy bride who catches her fiancee cheating with another man, wallops him with a nasty hook and the next scene seconds later, I have taken out everyone in the bar and am the only one left standing.  Now where do people get this idea that I am violent and bitchy ?   :)

Chris should be up for an award for this one !!

-----Original Message-----
From:   Mohan, Ross [SMTP:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
Sent:   Tuesday, August 14, 2001 11:51 AM
To:     Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
Subject:        RE: OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L The Motion Picture

ROFL!!!!

But, really....why do I have to be Joe Pesci?  I really
must cut down on my delivery speed...<sigh>.....

Oh well...reminds me of my first shamanic journey to
the middle world....turns out my power animal was a
squirrel.

A friggin' squirrel.

LoL....

Ah well, I am an oracle dba...I *do* have to compensate....

Ross

p.s. It's Dedekind Cut. He was brilliant....wow.....

-----Original Message-----
Sent: Tuesday, August 14, 2001 11:10 AM
To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L




The unkindest uncut of all - the Dedican uncut.

LOL





                    "Bowes,

                    Chris"               To:     Multiple recipients of list
ORACLE-L     
                    <Chris.Bowes@        <[EMAIL PROTECTED]>

                    kosa.com>            cc:

                    Sent by:             Subject:     OT: RE: UNCUT ORACLE-L
The Motion   
                    root@fatcity.        Picture

                    com

                    08/14/2001

                    10:47 AM

                    Please

                    respond to

                    ORACLE-L









UNCUT ORACLE-L
----------------------------------------------------------------------------




Coming to theaters near you.   Oracle-L, the UNCUT version is rated NC-17.

Directed by Bruce.
Produced by Jared Still.

Starring:

Lisa Koivu.  Watch as she machetes a user who left his userid and password
on a post-it on his PC allowing a rouge college intern to hack the system
and destroy data.

/Clip
Lisa: "YOU'VE USED THAT PASSWORD FOR THE LAST TIME MISTER!!!!",  User:
"NOooooooooooooo!"  Hack hack slice slice  Lisa: "Now where's that
intern..."

/Clip

Ross Mohan as her feisty sidekick. (envision Joe Pesci)
/Clip
"Nice Cutting Lisa.  So l-user, is it funny now?  Does she make you laugh?
Like a clown?  Looks like we'll have to rewrite that song.  'The ankle
bone's connected to the spinal cord...'"

/Clip

Rachel Carmichel, as the goddess of manager destruction. Watch as she
stuffs a chair down the throat of a manager for his really stupid ideas.

/Clip
Manager:  "But Rachel, don't you think that we could eliminate that 450g
worth of data and save a lot of money in training, dba costs and license
fees if we converted everything to Excel Spreadsheets?  Why are you looking
at me like that?  No, now put down that chair that could be an OHSA
recordable.  Open Wide?  Oh, you silly.  I've already had brunch with the
steering committee.  That's where this excellent excel idea came from.  We
can do this right?  I figure 450 g isn't that much is it?  All we have to
do is get some PC's and a couple secretaries and...  No, back away.
Noooooooo."  Stuff, cram, cram.

/Clip

Eric Pierce as Master Po giver of infinite knowledge.
/Clip
"Grasshopper.  You will find all you need at these links."
/Clip

Director Jared Still, in a special appearance.  He dispatches another
developer for bad locking practices:
/Clip
"Six table locks?  For a three table select?  I asked for code and you
bring me this.  What have I done to deserve this disrespect.    To the acid
baths with him..."

/Clip

Christopher Bowes as the thoroughly confused rookie:
/Clip:
"HELP!...  Am I an idiot?  Well, no I don't think so. What's an idiot?
RTFM? What's an RTFM?  Read the what?  What's a concepts manual.  What's a
concept?  That's nice, but what is a database?  I've got to build one for
my boss today.  I told him I would and my performance review is at 3pm...
Is 15 minutes enough time to build a 40 terabyte base?  But I thought DBA's
did nothing but get in the way of us developers...  What's a tablespace?
What's a table"

/Clip

Other special appearances by Steve Adams, Christopher Spence, Joe Testa and
lots of others from the Oracle-L.  See them all as you've never seen them
before.

See Oracle-L, the UNCUT version.  Coming this fall.

Sorry, folks, slow day...





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Author: Mohan, Ross
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