There is a Dilbert comic that reads:

I SUMMON THE VAST POWER OF CERTIFICATION!

And nothing happens.

Regards,
Patrice Boivin
Systems Analyst (Oracle Certified DBA)

Systems Admin & Operations | Admin. et Exploit. des syst�mes
Technology Services        | Services technologiques
Informatics Branch         | Direction de l'informatique 
Maritimes Region, DFO      | R�gion des Maritimes, MPO

E-Mail: [EMAIL PROTECTED]


 -----Original Message-----
Sent:   Monday, July 22, 2002 5:14 PM
To:     Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
Subject:        RE: Rant

I don't suppose that "we've been told some things about
oracle during my MSCE seminars" would land me a DBA job?

> -----Original Message-----
> From: Rachel Carmichael [mailto:[EMAIL PROTECTED]]
> Sent: Monday, July 22, 2002 3:29 PM
> To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> Subject: RE: Rant
> 
> 
> "and if Rachel were to become a Nun"???? My mother would start sitting
> shiva, because as far as she would be concerned, I'd have died :)
> 
> I did love the interview I gave once:
> 
> Me:  Okay, so last few questions. How do you learn about Oracle?
> Interviewee: Oh, I read the manuals, read the Oracle-l (I can see the
> light dawning) you're ...... Rachel Carmichael
> 
> 
> 
> 
> --- "Freeman, Robert" <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> > The interview (exerpts from some of my actual ones, and then some
> > made up)
> > 
> > We are in my cube. I've studied the resume for Mr. Morias, who is a
> > Portuguese national who's degree is from University who's name I
> > can't
> > pronounce and who's credentials I can't verify. He is a brand new
> > OCP.
> > 
> > Me: Good day Mr. (looks again at resume, I have a short term memory)
> > Morias.
> > 
> > Interviewee: Oi ai senhor, esta bom encontraa-lo. 
> > 
> > Me: Sir, I didn't understand you, please try again..
> > 
> > Interviewee: Sorry sir, I forget I need speak English. Good day sir.
> > 
> > Me: So, let's start our interview, shall we. Tell me what a rollback
> > segment
> > is please.
> > 
> > Interviewee: It is the method by which Oracle database store all
> > database
> > changes. It is used during recovery.
> > 
> > Me: (Figuring we have made a Jr. DBA type mistake here) Ok... and
> > tell me
> > about a redo log.
> > 
> > Interviewee: It used to provide consistent image to database users.
> > Oracle
> > has automated redo in Oracle9i.
> > 
> > Me: Are you sure that you don't have these kind of turned around?
> > Redo logs
> > are used for recovery, rollback segments are used for read
> > consistency.
> > 
> > Interviewee: No, you are mistaken, I know it is as I described. I've
> > been a
> > DBA for 10 years, I know what I am doing.
> > 
> > Me: Ok... so, when you have a problem with a database, what 
> do you do
> > to
> > solve the problem?
> > 
> > Interviewee: I go to ORACLE-L and ask Rachel, she know everything.
> > 
> > Me: And if she is on vacation or not responding to questions?
> > 
> > Interviewee: I wait for Rachel to return.
> > 
> > Me: And if Rachel were to become a Nun and never grace ORACLE-L
> > again?
> > 
> > Interviewee: I check out Lazy DBA, Mike Ault is there.
> > 
> > Me: AND if the Internet were unavailable?
> > 
> > Interviewee: (thinks for a second) I call Oracle?
> > 
> > Me: What about the manuals?
> > 
> > Interviewee: Oracle has Manuals? I've never seen them.
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > Robert G. Freeman - Oracle OCP
> > Oracle Database Architect
> > CSX Midtier Database Administration
> > Author
> > Oracle9i RMAN Backup and Recovery (Oracle Press - Oct 2002)
> > Oracle9i New Features (Oracle Press)
> > Mastering Oracle8i  (Sybex)
> > 
> > Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone ever told you that you're 
> bad luck?
> > Cousin Eddie: Those were my mother's dying words. But I
> > guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and 
> > your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin' 
> > crazy.
> > 
> > 
> > 
> > -----Original Message-----
> > Sent: Monday, July 22, 2002 1:54 PM
> > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > 
> > 
> > you can see how often I use the GUI :)
> > 
> > OBTW.. for those of you who are OEM fans... I heard a rumor (from a
> > fairly well-informed, usually accurate source) that 
> Oracle's changing
> > it all again.
> > 
> > T
> > --- April Wells <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> > > IT'S NOT a radio button... It is a regular CLICKY button.... geez 
> > > 
> > > -----Original Message-----
> > > Sent: Monday, July 22, 2002 10:24 AM
> > > To: Multiple recipients of list ORACLE-L
> > > 
> > > 
> > > Good rant. :)
> > > 
> > > I sympathize. The answer I get more and more is "I click on this
> > item
> > > on the GUI..." (I didn't ask you that, I asked you the theory
> > behind
> > > that little radio button)
> > > 
> > > 
> > > --- mkb <[EMAIL PROTECTED]> wrote:
> > > > Ok, I need to vent a little.
> > > > 
> > > > Last week, I was asked to do some tech interviews over
> > > > the phones for a mid level DBA position.  Someone with
> > > > about 2-3 years experience.
> > > > 
> > > > I don't consider myself a real smart DBA, nor do I
> > > > think that I ask particularly tough questions.  The
> > > > questions that I ask potential candidates are soley
> > > > based on what is on the resume.  So I figure if
> > > > someone has, say, hot backups or SQL tuning on their
> > > > resumes, I'd expect them to be able to hold a fairly
> > > > intelligent conversation about these topics.  No such
> > > > luck!
> > > > 
> > > > What really frustrated me, and what I really want to
> > > > get out of my system, is that nobody that I talked to,
> > > > had a real good concept of hot backups.  Forget about
> > > > recovery.  I asked each and every candidate who
> > > > claimed to have done hot backups, just give me a high
> > > > level overview of how you do a hot backup. Don't care
> > > > about syntax, just give me the mechanics.  The answers
> > > > I got were completely off base, baffling and
> > > > frustrating.  Some of these folks claimed to have 5
> > > > years experience!!!
> > > > 
> > > > 'Well, we use scripts to do these, so I'm not sure how
> > > > these are done...'  (But it says on your resume you've
> > > > done this???)
> > > > 
> > > > 'Oh, I take the tablespace offline, and copy the
> > > > datafile to tape...'  (Unless I'm mistaken, that's not
> > > > how a hot backup is done, right?)
> > > > 
> > > > 'Well, I use the export utility, and as the backup
> > > > starts, it is written to the dump file.'  (Huh? What?)
> > > > 
> > > > 'During this time, everything is written to the redo
> > > > logs and not to the tablespace...'  (You've been
> > > > reading one of those books, haven't you?)
> > > > 
> > > > I also asked them how they'd put a tablespace in
> > > > backup mode.  Simple enough, right?  Not one of them
> > > > got it right.  Not even close.  Didn't have clue as to
> > > > what I was talking about.  Fair enough, you don't
> > > > know.  Well how about a simple recovery scenario.  I
> > > > asked every candidate how they would do an online
> > > > recover of a datafile while the database was still in
> > > > use.  No ideas.  Not even close.
> > > > 
> > > > I dunno, perhaps I'm spoilt by being a member of this
> > > > list?  Perhaps I expect every candidate to be as
> > > > knowledgeable as you guys?  Perhaps I'm asking too
> > > > much?
> > > > 
> > > > Rant over.  Thanks for listening.
> > > > 
> > > > mkb
> > > > 
> > > > 
> > > > __________________________________________________
> > > > Do You Yahoo!?
> > > > Yahoo! Health - Feel better, live better
> > > > http://health.yahoo.com
> > > > -- 
> > > > Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> > > > -- 
> > > > Author: mkb
> > > >   INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> > > > 
> > > > Fat City Network Services    -- (858) 538-5051  FAX: (858)
> > 538-5051
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> > > > Lists
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> > > 
> > 
> === message truncated ===
> 
> 
> __________________________________________________
> Do You Yahoo!?
> Yahoo! Health - Feel better, live better
> http://health.yahoo.com
> -- 
> Please see the official ORACLE-L FAQ: http://www.orafaq.com
> -- 
> Author: Rachel Carmichael
>   INET: [EMAIL PROTECTED]
> 
> Fat City Network Services    -- (858) 538-5051  FAX: (858) 538-5051
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> also send the HELP command for other information (like subscribing).
> 
-- 
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-- 
Author: Gogala, Mladen
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Author: Boivin, Patrice J
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