More humour. Can't help sharing another one with humour at consultants included. Disclaimer: Not intended as any commentary on Anderson.
Hope it brings you a smile at the start of your week. Birgitt : > Date: February 23, 1998 10:12 AM > > OBSERVATION: A chicken just crossed the road > > QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road? > ************************************************* > > Answer(s): > KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. > > PLATO: For the greater good. > > ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. > > KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. > > BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which > will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important > documents, and balance your chequebook. > > TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would > let it take. > > SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were > quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. > > RONALD REAGAN: I forget. > > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. > > HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. > > ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side > of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken > was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the > competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen > Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the > chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and > implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM), > Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge, > capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and > technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program > Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse > cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson > consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage > in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal > knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to > synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of > delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an > enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry > cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, > enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically > based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and > unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, > and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total > business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken > change to become more successful. > > LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The > chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him > down. > > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be > free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. > > MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He > said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken > crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. > > FOX MULDER: It doesn't matter! You saw it cross the road with your > own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you > believe it? > > RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the > chicken did NOT cross the road. > > MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who > cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive > there was. > > JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't > anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing > walking around all over the place, anyway?" > > FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed > the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > > OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the > road?" Rather, it is "Who was crossing the road at the same time, > whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" > > DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally > selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross > roads. > > EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved > beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. > > BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. > > RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it > transcended it. > > ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. > > COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
