Something to cheer your Monday mornings from the wonderful WWW. Disclaimer: Not intended as any commentary on Anderson.
Enjoy, Terry > > > > > OBSERVATION: A chicken just crossed the road > > > > QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road? > > ************************************************* > > > > Answer(s): > > KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. > > > > PLATO: For the greater good. > > > > ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. > > > > KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. > > > > BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which > > will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important > > documents, and balance your chequebook. > > > > TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would > > let it take. > > > > SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were > > quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. > > > > RONALD REAGAN: I forget. > > > > CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone > before. > > > > HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. > > > > ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side > > of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The > chicken > > was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the > > competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen > > Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the > > > chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and > > implementation processes. Using the Poultry Integration Model > (PIM), > > Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, > knowledge, > > capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and > > > technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program > > Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened a diverse > > cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with > Anderson > > consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to > engage > > in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their > personal > > knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to > > synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of > > delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an > > enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry > > cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a park-like setting, > > > enabling and creating an impactful environment which was > strategically > > based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and > > unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, > vision, > > and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total > > > business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the > chicken > > change to become more successful. > > > > LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The > > chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him > > > down. > > > > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will > be > > free to cross roads without having their motives called into > question. > > > > MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He > > said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken > > > crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing. > > > > FOX MULDER: It doesn't matter! You saw it cross the road with your > > own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you > > believe it? > > > > RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the > > > chicken did NOT cross the road. > > > > MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who > > cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive > > there was. > > > > JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't > > anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing > > walking around all over the place, anyway?" > > > > FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken > crossed > > the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. > > > > OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the > > road?" Rather, it is "Who was crossing the road at the same time, > > whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" > > > > DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally > > selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to > cross > > roads. > > > > EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved > > beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. > > > > BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. > > > > RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road... it > > transcended it. > > > > ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. > > > > COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
