Indeed wonderful words! Really appreciated.
In addition to serving the group, I additionally felt I should serve
the sponsor. I have managed several times to convince a sponsor to
try doing an OST against all his doubts and objections. I have
advised him to trust the process as I myself am doing it. But then I
felt sometimes that my presence, just holding space, was reassuring
for the sponsor, showing that I continued trusting the process and
just being there as a guarantor that all will go its way and turn out
well. I sometimes felt that if I would disappear from the space - by
"slipping" into a small group - I would not live up to this promise
and role of mine: representing this trust that all will be fine.
Probably I myself would have felt uncomfortable leaving the role of
just holding space and being there.
-marc
IngeniousPeoplesKnowledge
Marc Steinlin
[email protected]
Skype: marcsteinlin
Cape Town
Republic of South Africa
Mobile: +27 (76) 222 81 12
Zweierstr. 50
CH-8004 Zuerich
Switzerland
Mobile +41 (78) 850 42 32
http://www.i-p-k.ch
Am 31.07.2007 um 23:21 schrieb Lisa Heft:
Hello, all, and thanks for this conversation --
Personally, it is very important for me to be aware of the inherent
power
dynamic I carry with me. Whether I see myself as this or not,
others can
often see me (the facilitator) as the expert, the person who knows so
much, the person who has wide experience in the field. Again -
whether it
is true or not. And culturally, some in the group may feel that the
teacher (or whomever) is to be respected. And / or that s/he may have
extra words of wisdom. And so on.
Also, for me, it is very important that if the group is working on
some
issue I really need to be involved with - that I find a colleague to
facilitate instead of me. That I make a decision to either be a
participant or a facilitator / space-holder for the group.
To me, that is serving the group. To be a clean and clear holder
of space
so that they can do their best work.
Might I have some content information that can help them?
Sometimes. But
I can always tell them that after the meeting. Am I interested in
what
they're talking about? Maybe passionately. But I can always read
their
notes in the Book of Proceedings - I can even sneak around and pick up
coffee cups a bit more often in their area. Do I want to listen in on
their conversations? Possibly. Even when I am drawn closer to
listen, I
try to be aware of my body language - to stand to the side and not
directly face the group, for example (because it can distract them)
and
then to be sure that I leave soon. Why? Because it is their work, not
mine.
Even when someone calls me over to a group - for example it's about
AIDS
education and someone might say 'Lisa, can you tell us what you do
when
you teach this in prison?' or whatever -- I will come and answer their
question, even (if they know me well) share thoughts for a minute -
but I
will make sure to then get up and leave before I find that the
conversation is question and answer with Lisa.
There are breaks, sometimes lunch - other times in which folks may
find me
for some conversation - and to me that is a bit different than
their work
in sessions. Still, I am careful not to direct or recommend content,
rather I am happy to engage in conversation.
When the group knows me *really* well I do not carry any power dynamic
with me - they don't care - don't see my input weighing any more
than any
one else's. Still, I don't stay in group conversations. I alight, if
anything. Because my role that day is to hold space for them.
And I never post sessions when I am facilitating. If I have
something I
want them to talk about - to me, this would be my attachment to
where they
go and what they talk about - and that, to me, is an indication I
should
have brought in someone else in the facilitator role so I can jump
on in
as a participant.
Some of you do things differently and I welcome that - this is just
explaining what my inner thinking is for why I do or do not engage
as a
participant.
And I don't feel it is witholding my fullest self - I feel it is
offering
my fullest self...in service to them, to their work.
Just another thought from someone who may do this as you do or not
do this
as you do, dear readers,
Lisa
[email protected]
http://www.openingspace.net
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